some shit

At about noon on of the 4th of september i've seen the disguised muslim-woman from the 30/31rst again, this time with a child. Don't know when i've seen a woman dressed like this before, or if at all in this town.
In the afternoon a nosegestuer passed me before i entered a supermarket, maybe late 40ies, mustache, blue jacket, red poloshirt with thin red stripes, looked just common, watchman-like behaviour as many of them show. When i was standing in line an athletic black-dressed man with a white circle printed on shirt entered, he wanted to be seen, this was because the day before i made a hasty move as if i wanted to turn when i was cycling at the near park and had seen a black dressed jogger who had printed an against-nazi on his t-shirt. The jogger was still some distance away, but i think he had seen this and wondered, and now they made fun of this( wich doesn't say that he was one of them ). The stalkers didn't use this crushed-swastika-symbol at all (they once had a short st.pauli-t-shirt-theme), so i have not "learned" that this must have anything to do with me, but with some lefties, the ones in the park, and many black my unconscious just interpreted that it would be an accusation. It can happen maybe a few times a year that my incertitude is obvious out of context like this, and at all there have been a few times where it was really overdone, even agressive, that it made me feel ashamed. When they show again and again then it's full and then gets to unconscious, wich at the end means that the perception accepted their reality.

When i was outside in the afternoon on the 5th two older men with a little black-end-white dog passed me, the dog was tossing the leash that it was constantly at the same angle and same tension on it, and the dog had leaned his head to the side and was holding it in exactly the same position, Looked as if it was performing. It was on the cycle-lane, and didn't react at all when i came closer, the man didn't also, so i bowed it on the lawn. On my way back on a bigger street leading towards the inner city a man asked me the way. He was wearing a red-and-black plaid shirt, a pulled back basecap with flames on the peak and dusty-dirty( grey because of this ) workpants. He was walking fast, a gaunt black-haired man with moustache, he had penetrative grey eyes, seemed that he was drugged. He said he wanted to get to a location for techno-pertys( usually one of my last choices if i would go out ), near the courthouse. It was still before 6pm, it was usually some acting. In the end of the 90ies i lived in this street, i had a good distance to walk to the inner city, and was fast.
Half an hour after i had arrived home someone outside said loudly towards the direction of my window/room "hello you two !"( "Hallo ihr beiden !" ), then added, usually holding a cellphone "it's time for supper"( "es gibt Abendbrot" ), to take away from it.

Near midnigth, already on the 6th, on my way to a petrol-station, i passed a woman with a smaller dog in the next parallel street. They were on the pavement, i was in the middle of the street, didn't see the dog, but it started to bark when i was in line of them, could have been on command, the way the woman bend down towards the dog when i had passed looked also like this. So they had a dog-theme these days. When i arrived at the petrol station there was a couple, dressed conservative in black and dark grey, at the till, the woman said to the clerk " -filling station attendant, i know this. My sister once had worked at a petrol station, i was always in fear for her. But you have bulletproof glass. " (" Tankwart, das kenne ich, meine Schwester hat mal an einer Tankstelle gearbeitet, da hatte ich Angst. Aber sie haben hier ja Panzerglas. "). Then they turned around and left, looked much like acting.
About noon when i headed to the baker next to a shop street down where i bougth tabak, three people, looked somewhat like lefties, on bicycles hurried to arrive there, all coming from different directions, as if they were soaked in by the baker. So i decided to moved to the next baker, the next person who passed me was a man with black sunglasses, looked like a fascist, he had leaned his head to the side, derisively smiling, he made a slight sniffing noise. When i was sitting in the near park three man passed me, one said "he always openes the doors, even if the handles are straigth (horizontal), even in public buildings" (" er macht ja immer die Türen auf, auch wenn die Griffe gerade sind, auch in öffentlichen Gebäuden "), sounded as if he was talking about a dog that is not his one, but has to be important to him.
In the afternoon i was at the circus again, to take some sketches. I asked at the till, so i could move freely there. So if the missing-dog-theme was no bluff and they wanted to know something from me they could have asked me then, that was all i could do. Once a man came up to me, i first thougth that he would be from the circus, because he walked so purposeful, so i stepped to the side. He then left the area through the fence that was opened last time, and closed it so i could hear, then he stood outside and had a look at the animals-from where i was standing first, the last time. He was a bodybuilded person, grey eyes, grey t-shirt.
I've seen the runners in suits that day, this time they were three. Maybe they work near here, i think i've seen them before. When i mentioned them in my last posting their behaviour could hardly been accidentially, but this time they were just standing there.
When i walked towards the shopping centre in the late afternoon a grey-haired dark black man passed me on a bicycle on the market place, he was greeting me, friendly. I greeted him back. So normally people who don't know one wouldn't greet, maybe black migrants have been set against me at a scale that's no secret, and then this one was just curious. In the next street there was a black small van with blackened windows at the back waiting at a streetcrossing, a red car with a black driver stopped next to him, before i passed them the (white) driver of the black car made a loud sniffing noise. After i had passed the red car moved on, the black car was still waiting. In the shopping center i met a girl i know, haven't seen since many years, she lives in another city. Can't tell her about my situation, it would sound too strange, and someone would explain to her that i'm mad.

Near midnigth, already on the 7th, a car stopped on the other side of the street, an authoritarian sounding man said loudly "do you want molotov ?" (" wollt ihr molotov ?"), then a girl on the backseat said a well-behaved "yes", then another girl laughed and said so also. The second answering one sounded somewhat like the one i had met in the shopping centre. Then one of them got out of the car, the car moved on.
At about 3am a car stopped, someone said "he's not working."(" er arbeitet nicht" ), then the car moved on.
When i came back home in the early evening the children who had been singing "we are sick kanaks" were standing on the other side of the street.

When i was outside at noon on the 8th a black, red, white dressed weigth-trained energetic jogger passed me, when his fist was in good position for a punch he breathes out somewhat deeper.
At nigth a bigger group of young people walked up the street here, they seemed somewhat upset, one said loudly "you don't belong to us". Another time someone said "at the window there", and something cryptic in the morning.

When i was at the laundry in the afternoon of the 9th and was smoking a cigarette outside, a yellow car stopped in front of me at the traffic ligth. It looked newish, and the yellow looked somewhat toy-like. On the passenger-seat there was a bald shaved man with a thin beard around his chin, he looked at me. I had a newspaper and read it, when they started i looked again at them, the man still looked at me, turning his head around. When i entered the laundry again a man wearing a t-shirt of the same yellow colour passed me. Could have been one of the aikido-people, not sure, i didn't look at him for long, it was already too confusing. He left the laundry, short time later the bald shaved one entered with his girlfriend. He was big and heavier build, his girlfriend was corpulent. When they left he passed in front of me and stared at me again. Maybe a rigthist. On my way back there was a black dressed man on a black mtb waiting at a traffic ligth in front of me. He turned around and looked into my eyes, as if this would have something to say. He was completely dressed in black, everything in the same black tone, maybe new clothing, also the mtb. Geled black hair and sideburns. On the back of his hooded sweater there was a simple white "deutschrock.de" printed.
In the late afternoon/early evening i brougth empty beer-cans to a petrolstation. In the station there was an athletic man with a newish black t-shirt, a big white "black flag" printed on the back. He had longer hair, was in companion of a girlfriend who was wearing white pants. When i cowered down and was putting the cans in a basket he was standing in front of me and said, really loud " no one cares if you smoke pot ! "(" es ist scheissegal ob du kiffst "), looking to somewhere at the wall or so. Then an old man, wearing a skipper/captain-cap, completely dressed in nearly black blue entered, the orator :" A policeman enters. Hello ! "( "ein polizist kommt rein. Hallo !" ). Then they left, the woman was holding his arm to support him, he did some poor acting, as if he would miss the door, gestikulating.

In the late evening/early afternoon of the 10th i was at the east-side with my bicycle(as usual), near the river a man asked me for the way, he had darker complexion, was wearing a white jacket and had a big envelope in his hand, he wanted to go to another quarter of the town, he asked me for the white (pedestrian)bridge. This would have made a really healthy walk, strange postman. On my way back i passed the circus, in front of the caged area there was a man who talked with some circus-people, asked something about the animals. He was wearing a black fligthjacket, brown cargo-pants, a military backpack and brown shoes, similar to the shoes one of them was wearing the previous day. Looked like a lefty. He reminds me one of the leaders, but he was bald, this one had long hair. But they rarely show up, so i don't know. I was standing at the water and smoked a cigarette. There was some distance to the circus, after a while the man came around the corner, when he passed i looked at him, he looked smaller than the one he reminds me, couldn't even estimate if he would be bigger than me, seemed that he wanted to appear smaller, had his head much foreward, with his big steps he appeared lanky, somewhat trollish. He looked at me. When he was a bigger distance away he consistantly raised his hand three times to his mouth, as a gesture, too fast that he could really have smoked a cigarette. Maybe he was it, or someone of them who had similarity with him. Then, when i passed the circus again, there were some girls, younger than 10, playing with a monkey, they liked to affrigth all the time when the monkey hopped around. I wondered that the monkey was out of the cage, because no adults were near. I asked one of the girls if they were from the circus, she said yes. Then she said no. But they had asked at the entrance because of the monkey, it's o.k.. I think the first answer was rigth.( some days later i've read that some circus-animals had been "freed" two days before )
Near the railwaystation there was one of their sniffers, a man wearing a black and white leather jacket.
When i was on my way to a petrolstation at nigth someone in the bushes of the near park made a cracking noise when i passed, it's their territory.

When i came back from the baker in the morning of the 11th a black dressed woman on a bicycle stopped for no apparent reason and looked at me, very astounded.
At noon i had bougth something at a shop street down, when i was waiting at the street a short-haired young man wearing an olive-green sweatshirt and earphones passed on a bicycle, he nodded at me as if he would know me, but not really like a greeting, more like pointing at me.
I was outside with my bicycle for an hour in the afternoon, first of them was a young man, wearing a blue sweatshirt with white stripes on his sleeves, like armlets, he was carrying a bag and made a nosegesture. The next one of them appeared in a driveway i passed, he had his head shaved, was wearing an olive-green t-shirt, he was holding the palm of his hand at his cheek, in his other hand he had a key on a short rope( as they often have at petrolstations, like the one where i was two days before with the cans ). Near a sports field a bigger group of joggers passed me, all athletic men dressed the same, the last one was a black one, he stopped and payed attention to a bush when i passed. When i arrived back and had opened the door a bald-shaved man passed me, he was wearing olive-green military pants and military boots, the pants under his socks and boots, and a dark hooded sweater with the city-name on it. He was wearing glasses and was carrying a bag. When i looked at him i moved my mouth a little, i'm not the perfect no-reaction-man, and he immediatly caugth this up and amplified this, moved his face when he sees a sligth move in mine, so with this he was related to me in a way.
In the late afternoon i walked to a shop, before i arrived a man dressed that his colours matched mine came out, he looked agressive, turned his head around and looked at me, then straigthened his arms downwards, the palms towards me, making a satan-symbol with each hand. Maybe he and the others exept woman and jogger today were rigthists.
Short time before i left home in the early evening someone yelled "Deutschland", street down, sounded agressive. In the morning someone already yelled "Deutschland", street up, a worker, not so agressive, but somehow claiming. I was at a petrol-station, the man in front of me had bald-shaved hair, was wearing a khaki military-jacket, jeans and fair leather boots. Maybe he was a support-US-troops-variation of todays military theme. I bougth me fast-food at a snack-bar, behind me there were two people, maybe arabian, one had darker complexion, the other one was black. One of them said two words with hissing "s" towards me. And on my way back a man on a bicycle passed me, black sweatshirt, grey pants, studded belt, he demonstratively looked at me, turning his head when passing.
And over the day some older but vital stern men had a look at me, maybe three. Could have been from a police-background or so.
Have described all that day.

At about 3 am of the 12th two teenager were running up the street here, one hits something with a batten three times, sounded the same each time, and the time between the strikes was the same. When they had crossed the street one kicked against a bicycle. Sounded as if they were trained.
When i was outside in the afternoon some grim looking people passed me at the marketplace, one was a woman with a white patch covering her left eye. In the next street a man with a dog, a husky, passed me, he had his eyes closed. When he had passed me on the 29th of august he had his eyes closed also. At the low bridge the man with military pants and boots, who had passed me when i opened the door the day before, passed me, he was carrying the same bag as the day before. When i was eating fries in the pedestrain zone he passed me again.
When i was in the near supermarket in the late afternoon a big man came up to me with some hurried steps, so i didn't know if he wanted to run into me. He then made a noise as if he was excusing at a little child.

When i was outside in the afternoon of the 13th a man wearing a green pullover and brown pants, police colours, passed me just when i had turned in the next bigger street. Then at the near park another man dressed like this and with a white basecap passed me on a bicycle. Both not older than 30. Outside the town i decided to walk for a while, just to walk somewhere without always having to think when the next one will show up. But then one of them passed me, on a bicycle, he looked at me in a tense way, he frowned and was holding this expression and holded the back of his hand under his nose. He was a sportive man, wearing a brown jacket with a fur-collar, reminded me james dean. On my way back a man wearing a yellowish-green shirt and khaki pants past me, rubbing his nosebridge. And back in town a man on a bicycle passed me, wearing a pullover of this yellowish-green colour, he made a sniffing noise when he passed me. The two last were older men, their gesture/noise appeared naturally, but with the policecolour-theme and timing it was obvious that they were their people.

In the evening of the 14th a man wearing a t-shirt of a thai-boxing-school passed me. He had a grim expression and shaved hair, so i thougth if he was a rigthist. That he was wearing this t-shirt does not have to say that he was from the school. In the afternoon i bougth me chai-tea, so maybe that's why this man appeared.
The next time i was outside i passed a group of people, some were standing in front of a bank, very close to the window and looking inside, there wasn't usually anything of interest, one said "didn't see anything" (" hab ich nicht gesehen ") when i passed, he had iroquese-shaved sides and was wearing a blue jeans with white chlored dots. I was at another bank, the one near home, a young couple was standing in front of it. He had black gi-styled hair, she was a fair black, not much darker than whites, but a "black" skintone. I entered the bank, they seemed to be waiting for something, moved on after i had passed them. He looked sportive, wouldn't wonder if he was doing thaiboxing.
At nigth on my way to a petrolstation a young black dressed teenager, hooded sweater and coat, leaned his head to the side and raised his arm from the side above his head before i passed him at the near park, i was behind him. Kind of how-mad-does-it-look necromancer-gesture, seemed to be a lefty. Before i arrived at the station a conservative dressed woman, wearing a fair short coat and black pants, made a sniffing noise when i passed her. At the petrolstation there were two men in front of me, one stored beer in his backpack, the other was a somewhat conservatively black dressed man. Then a man with pale skin, wearing a limegreen t-shirt over a white sweatshirt arrived with a bicycle. He stood behind me, had grey eyes with very small pupils, he was all the time talking to himself. When the black dressed man bougth something a black taxi arrived, it came so close that his fender nearly touched the kerbstone. The taxidriver knew the men who was standing in front of me, i walked to the till, the taxidriver, a bigger heavy bristle-bearded man, shouted joyfully "i have to go for big boys"( "ich muss mal für grosse jungs"/~to go for small boys~ means to pee in german ), and when i was still standing there, taking the beer, he hurryed came close behind me and put something in the drawer. Then he got the toilet key( on a short rope as pendant ), and walked behind the station. The man with the small pupils asked for fruit-gums( Fruchtgummis ), speaking very cranky. Maybe it was part of a composite joke.
At nigth i heared some meaningful coughs outside.

When i arrived in the pedestrian zone in the afternoon of the 15th, there was a man standing, demonstratively waiting, i already expected that it was for me. He had short hair, was wearing an earthy-orange t-shirt beneath his jacket, with his rigth he was holding a cellphone at his ear, he was holding his left arm in front of him, looking at the watch. He didn't move at all, had a strained expression, the way he was posing looked as if a military exercise would be going on. In the moment i passed him he started to move, walking in the direction i came from, he had used my arrival as his trigger. There were many people in town, because there was a open-air-concert at the water.
In the evening i was again at the petrolstation i had been the day before. There was a bigger group of teenagers in front of it, one yelled "shit" (" scheisse ") when i arrived, not adressed to me, but timing. When i was standing line up the man who paid was standing there for a while without moving, it took him somewhat longer. In front of me there was a couple, not older than 18, he was tall and slender, wearing dark clothing, she was blonde. She had a monologue about frogs all the time, and spoke like a little child, but serious. She had a frog, the eyes were soo big. She had another frog. The clerk was dressed in black, he had similarity with the one from aikido who was doing most for them. But the clerk was smaller and slender. He had a black button as ear-decoration, maybe he was gay. When i payed he snorted one nostril. A man came in and hurried headed at the till. While i was still standing there he said "the two"( "die zwei" ) and payed, without waiting that i stepped to the side, same as the one yesterday did. I looked at him. He was it again, the bristle-bearded. He was wearing a black t-shirt, something printed on it. He didn't wait for exchange, walked out, this time he had a red car.

Near midnigth, already on the 16th, i was again at a petrolstation. I had consumed a few beer, and wanted a few more. When i was standing at the till a couple arrived, then stood next to me. The woman had a narrow nosebridge, she was wearing a snow-camouflage-coat. The man was standing with his back towards me, he was wearing a black and red leather jacket. They talked fastly all the time, seemed to be russian. The man said a single sentence in german " he belongs to it/them " (" Der gehört dazu "). Seemed it refers to me. They were standing between me and my bicycle, i looked at them, just because they stood near me. Then the woman said "you have looked at me" ("du hast mich angesehen"), the man said so also. Both looked at me, their eyes didn't move at all, their expressions were so similar that i thougth if they would have consumed a substance that supported this. Maybe it was thougth as a classic intro for an attack. Maybe it was the beer, i just said "so what, you (two) are looking at me also"( "na und, ihr seht mich doch auch an" ), then ignored them and stored the beer into my bag. The man agressively asked me if i would have finished at the till, i had and took my bicycle, and said they should relax(locker bleiben) when i left. Maybe i had luck.
In the afternoon a gesturer passed me in the near park, a man wearing a poloshirt and pants of the same dark blue colour, he covered his mouth with his hand.

Maybe i've described about 2/3 of them an average, varies by day.