tiny deft auto

When i got outside in the early afternoon of the 12th of febr., there was a man on the streetcrossing here, he was looking towards the end of the street, same direction as the one from the 10th, and was walking while he was gesticulating, fastly touching his nose and lower face, wich reminded insects communicating with antennas. Maybe 50 years. On the next bigger street there was a man crossing, already in his 60ies, he made a nosegesture. Both had the same sublimal intrinsic agression, maybe rigthists. In front of the supermarket two men were looking at me, they seemed to be somehow upset. When i was walking towards the till a clerk hurried passed me( not the usual one, this one now has darker hair ), resolute walking, short time later their clerk passed me too, moving in the same way, seemed he was following the first one. Just when i stood in line he opened the other till. There was no reason to do so, there were not much people standing in line, the granny in front of me was already putting her wares on the band conveyor, i was the last one, so the second till had only been opened because of me, their clerk wanted to order me to go there. The granny signalized me i should do so. The clerk was doing some resolute noises at the till, because i didn't go there he closed it, then walked away. When i got outside a man passed me, demonstrativly taking off a black stretch-headband, a furious gesture.
When i got back on the street after looking at some animals in an enclosure in the afternoon, there were two men on bicycles, both dressed much the same, and maybe late 40ies, the first had a lengthy shoulder-bag, the second one was waiting at a near traffic ligth and imitated the eye-movement of the animals when looking at me.
At nigth i was at a petrol-station, this time walking. When i left the station i jumped up a little stair, just a few steps, next to a gateway. Just when i was standing there i've seen from the corner of the eye that a small blue car turned in from the street into the gateway behind me. It was fast, no sound, no ligth. Seemed they turned in without deceleration and a feet on the clutch. A skilled driver. Normally i diagonally pass in front of the stair, going directly to the pavement. If i had done this time, maybe i would have run into the car.

When i was outside in the late afternoon of the 13th, i passed the petrolstation again, i wanted to think about the situation at nigth. Now a small blue car, a renault, was parking on the street in the middle in front of the station, no other cars near, so it was exposed. It wasn't the car from the night, that one was darker and had another shape, but maybe about the same size. Short time later i turned around to have a closer look, where i have been standing and such, now at the station a black man passed me, he had copious black make-up around his eyes, not just the lids, the eye-sockets, and it looked as if he had been weeping. He had shorter hair, was wearing an olive-green jacket, and a military shoulder-bag. The renault was still parking there. So this was a comment about the car from the nigth, the eyes should say "no ligth", and maybe because it was dark they picked up a black one. Later on my way several people had a look at me, maybe they were established local artists. One of the last said "but not now"( "naja, jetzt ja nicht" ), when he passed with his wife/friend. This was to show that drawing is theirs, because i had my sketchbook with me in the park in the early afternoon.
When i was at the near supermarket in the early evening, there was a black man standing in front of it, with his back towards me. When i came closer he turned his head, so i've seen him from the side. He had same skin-colour and hairlength as the one before, and was also wearing an olive-green jacket. He had also somewhat similar proportions. I'm not sure, but i think it was another one. The way he stood there looked as if he had to, but didn't want it, maybe he even was afraid, at least not comfortable. He also had some similarity with their black stalker from the 9th, but i think he wasn't as dark, hair was similar, jacket also, maybe the colour was sligthly different.
When i got outside in the late evening( past 10pm) a small newish red car was directly in front of the entrance, driving a little for-and backwards, just parking. All the four cars from the streetcrossing to the entrance were such small cars, then one that was a little longer, because it had a hood, then one more shorty, this one with a st.pauli-sticker on the back screen. Half of these cars were vw, the red one was a ludo.
To deflect from their car-action they had translated this into a black man( nigth ) with make-up( no ligth ). Now they protest against this, transforming small cars into antifascism.

When i was going to the baker at 6am of the 14th, not all of the small cars were still parking there. The newish red ludo had been exchanged for a newish red mini.
When i was outside in the afternoon some people were looking at me, the first was gay, the others were lefties, older than 40. All near a streetcrossing. Then i was in the park, but i moved on because two black dressed people with white sneakers started chi-exercise, after the older one explained something. Both did different exercise, seems to be more like acting than exercise. And i know such people just as stalkers.
The next time i was outside three people were aping the way i was walking, seemes they were also of them. One was dressed in black with a leather coat, another one somewhat similar like me.
On my way to a petrolstation at nigth i passed a gesturer with a cellphone at the park. When i turned in a sidestreet i was talking some words to myself, somewhat stagy, about that they want to drive me into suicide. I already drunk 3 cans of beer. Too late i've seen that one of them was standing on the street, on the rigth side from my view, a tall man with a black jacket, stock-still and in that guard-like way as the one from the 10th. He was holding a cellphone or so in front of him, but wide for that, maybe he recorded me. But it was dark. On my way back i passed the gesturer again, the first time he had his arm stretched forwards horizontally, moving it with his shoulder for- and backwards, the hand as if he wanted to grasp something, now he said a louder arabian-sounding word when i had passed.

In the early morning of the 15th i was first going to the bank, at the corner there was a man holding an unfolded tissue at his nose, sniffing, covering his lower face. Then around the corner there was a woman with a bicycle in front of the bank, she was holding a tissue in the same way and made the same noise, then evidently looked at my groin.
When i was outside in the afternoon i once had to step to the side at the record shop, because a hurried man came towards me, an older man wearing an olive green parka, probably an artist. Short time later i passed there again, now a young couple came out of an entrance, she said "they'll be out soon"( "sie sind ja bald wieder draussen" ), to say that i would know imprisoned people.
This was all that day.

When i was outside in the later afternoon of the 16th there were some spread lefties who looked at me. I knew one of them vaguely a good ten years ago. I basically have the tendency not to look at peoples faces too long, nearly all reactions are hostile, derisively. My head already turned, but i was still looking and she too, and looked normally. Didn't expect this. Later there was a restrained but routinated sniffer, a young man on a bicycle, just when i had passed a black man with closed headphones.
On my way to a petrolstation in the evening i've seen someone i knew somewhat long ago, he already did something for them. In the station exept two clerks there were a woman at the till, and a man standing there and waiting. The woman loudly said "... a pumpgun"( using the english word ), then turned around, making a fast step towards me, looking into my face. The man belonged to her, both left. The clerk wondered about it, seemed context was missing. The couple was dressed proper, conservativly, maybe 50 years.
In the late evening a couple passed outside, the woman explained something, seemed someone had desinformed her about something. Sounded like these make-your-comment-here-speakers, but not hostile.
At nigth i was again at a petrolstation, a man on a bicycle came towards me, without holding on the handlebar, sitting perfectly uprigth, he spread his stretched rigth arm fastly somewhat to the side and back while looking at me, aware and motionless. Was wearing a black jacket.
That was all that day.

When i was at the bank at noon of the 17th, a man on a bicycle passed me before i arrived, and at entrance he came walking towards me from the side, so i had to breake. I was very slow, because of my health, and he made fun of this with the way he steps, and also wanted to show me his new brown shoes with that. He was wearing a black coat, seemed to be sportive, with the way he moved he could have been a soldier. The proper way he was dressed reminded me the man of the woman who said "pumpgun". When i was inside a bus stopped at the traffic ligth at the streetcrossing in front of the bank. There was a thanks to uck written in big letters on the car. This was the only car in sigth, no traffic at all. The man inside the bank stood directly in front of the closed glass door that leads inside, he made a noise, seemed he was drawing his card through the interstice. A symbol for a break-in. Then i was at the baker in the railwaystation, when i would have been next a man leaned over the showcase, cutting me in line, and ordered something i usually buy there. Then he looked at me, then mumbling something when turning his head "...you...not...". He was taller than me, somewhat gaunt, dark hair, mustache, maybe 50. Despite him i then bougth what i usually buy there. When i took my products a bigger woman with black long hair, maybe late 40ies, stepped next to me, where the man stood before, and also ordered this.
When i was outside in the afternoon i heared honking cars, and got there to have a look. It was the kosovo-celebration convoy. I followed up to the next streetcrossing. There the policeman who had stopped the traffic for them turned around and came running towards me when i crossed, so i had to breake, but then he let me pass. There was the bus again, now from the other side, but same writing, some more thanks, it was the leading car.
That was it that day. So for some days there was less than usual frequency.

When i was at the bank in the early afternoon of the 18th a female clerk of the bank came in, stood in front of the closed glass-door and called for another clerk inside, who didn't show up. Seems to be a comment about the man from the day before. Then i was in the cheap supermarket, when i had entered and took something out of the shelf near the entrance, their clerk came around the corner and passed me. He walked the corridor to the end, he just showed up to show up, nothing else. When he was some distance away he put his rigth hand on his chest, like programmed. Otherwise he seemed to be somewhat enraged when i have seen him, also a little sniffing noise, some impulses. He can hold it back when he has instructions for that. The performing clerk. When i was standing in line a stubby man in front of me extensively looked at me from the corner of his eye, maybe a mind-joke, that staring at someone would be naturally that way. Outside there was the magazine seller who is also one of them, when i unlocked my bicycle a white man with a complete traditional face-tatoo and black sunglasses walked to the shop, when he was near me the seller called him "friend".
I was outside in the afternoon again with my bicycle at the animals-enclosure, on my way to it two somewhat darker men passed me, both with the same expression and moving the same way, but with some distance so despite they were connected with this they couldn't communicate. They looked somewhat if they had to go there. Maybe this was inpired somehow by the kosovo now. At the animals there were two woman with a dog, they blocked the way with the dog-leash and shouted "jump" at me, stupid fun. But they stopped it when i came closer. The dog was some distance away and didn't notice this, so this was a plea, they also did this leash-holding again for a moment, as if it would be an exercise. On a mission but childish. On my way back several people looked at me, mostly on bicycles, they appeared officially to me. One man on a bicycle who was with them looked like a soldier, the way he moved, also jacket and saddle-bags, the cliche of the relaxed soldier. Back in town a man, don't think he belonged to the previous, came towards me, he had a very uprigth but uptight body-posture, pressed his chin against the throat to accent this. He was wearing a black suit, a blue shirt and beneath this a white t-shirt/undershirt.
When i got outside in the late afternoon there was a man standing in front of the door, ringing. When i opened the door he looked at me, i at him, i said hi( "tag" ), he stepped back and said "oh god", copious hectically waving about with his hands while looking directly into my eyes and making a step backwards. With the way he looked i had to like him because he was so funny. It was more like an exercise than trying to really look surprised. He appeared to be really harmless. In the park i shaked my arms and legs somewhat, it's always more than necessary because of my health, but always beeing watched and commented makes a barrier. When i was leaving the park i passed a woman who was playing with a bunch of little children. She walked around and loudly said "and now i'm coming with my big tick-finger"( "und dann komme ich mit meinem grossen Tick-Finger" )( in german the f***-word has an i instead of u ). I don't think any adult or pubescent would accidentially speak this way, and it didn't sound like this. When i had left the park and passed in front of the bank a man who was holding his stretched arms somewhat spread came towards me. So this was a chi-exercise, he looked as if he couldn't get it off himself, as if they would always have to be like this now, like stuck on one-piece-arms. He was wearing a black leather jacket.
In the evening a robust man with a motionless face came towards he, holding his stretched fingers at his nosebridge, covering it.

When i was in the park in the early afternoon of the 19th there was a man standing in front of a tree on top of the big meadow, facing towards the coffee&fries-hut where i had been banned. The man was posing as sugar loaf jesus, as a chi-exercise, holding this position without moving at all. I sat down on a bank a good distance away. He took another posture, praying, his hands in front of his chin and throat, with his posture obviously still jesus. Then he took his bicycle and cycled away.
When i got outside in the afternoon, two newish cars passed on the streetcrossing here, both had the same nearly black green colour, the second one was a mini, he stopped for a moment, so i could have crossed in front of him. In the bank there was a sniffer, not loud, seemd he knew well that i've heared this often enough, before that he looked at me, into my eyes, in an understood way, it wasn't as emotionally overloaded as they usually are, he wants to appear as a naturally superior. Maybe 50, somewhat bigger, robust, dark clothing.
When i was outside in the late afternoon and arrived at the park, there was a couple walking, in their 20ies, the man looked at me and closed his nostrils, pressing them with thumb and forefinger.Took his hand away, still was looking at me, constantly, somewhat similar to the man in the bank. Short distance further there was a couple standing, looking towards me as observers, the man commented "somewhat more"( "etwas mehr" ). Maybe 50 years, fitted to the other couple, could be a family. Conservative people, the honest citizens. Later in the city there were twice women/girls who did obviously poor acting as surprised ones. Not much later there was a woman with fixed grey eyes, even the white appeared to be a shade of the grey, and tiny pupils, looked like coated with a dull metal powder.