Montag, 1. Oktober 2007

shoe and shout

At nigth of the 26th of september, when i rode down the street here with my bycicle, a young bald-shaved man came towards me, he was directly in line of my, looked at me with an overdone stupid happiness, and sidestepped me when he still was a bigger distance away, the way that it clearly shows that this was an exercise to him. He had a weak and childish expression, maybe to show up harmless, and maybe he wanted that it looks as if he would know me. The next man was a darker one, as darkk as some blacks are, he covered his yawning mouth with a hand. At the railwaystation i passed two shaved bald young men that quarreled with each other. It seemed to be acting, one laudly accused the other one to be a monkey and a bird("Affe" und "Vogel"). When i had passed the low bridge there were two black dressed men, antifa, walking in front of me. Both were dressed much the same, had black basecappes. One was bawling all the time "waaa! just come here, you !" ("waaa!, komm nur her du !"), really loud, didn't stop. There was no one he specially adressed it at, on the one hand it was fun, it was too stupid, he claimed that he fuckes whole Berlin and shouted "wanker", on the other hand he would had usually fought everybody who wanted to match with him. He had his tensioned arms somewhat sidewards, the hands made fists. I passed them, close to them, was not fast, someone else did also, he didn't want to attack anybody randomly, but when i was some distance away and looked at him he immediatly started to bawl at me. Some people who had seen him had to laugh, he walked up the hill, there he was still bawling all the time, sometimes kicking something. No doubt he won the idiot contest against the two at the railwaystation. The day before i got a little mail from someone who lives in berlin, many years ago that i've seen him, it was just a few words. So maybe the mad one now was a reaction on that.

The next time i was outside was in the early morning of the 27th, i was at a baker in the railwaystation. In the station there have been many cops or so, everywhere i looked there were dark uniforms. Not as a group that was doing something, just spread all over the station, one at the baker, looking at me.I wanted to buy a baguette, i usually do so when i buy there, but they were sold out before 6am. When i left a busy cop came out of a bookstore walking a consistent curve and set in front of me, outside i passed the last of the uniformed ones, he looked towards me, scratching his cheek.
In the early evening when i was sitting in the inner city and eating fries two men came towards me, a white one and a black one, wearing a grey hooded sweater, hood on. For no apparent reason they turned around and walked back the way they came. Then a man wearing a blue sweater came towards me, he was carrying a yellow sack of potatoes in each hand, he said clearly "alex", specially accentuating the "x", with a long "s". There was no one near exept me. When i came back the black man with the hooded sweater-seems to be the same, didn't look specially at him, at least he was dressed the same and had the same darkness- walked down the street in front of me, coming from the opposite direction of where the inner city is. I passed him, when i had opened the door he passed me, we looked at each other, he looked very serious, somewhat grim, with his slitted eyes his face was all black, and round because of the hood. Unsmiling black circle-face.

I was at a petrol station at about 4:30am on the 28th, at the streetcrossing behind it, a bigger one, there were two black dressed men standing and talking. I turned in the street there, then on the other side of the street, still in sigth, there was another black dressed man, fits to the two before, all lefties, he had a beer in one hand, with the way he was walking he was imitating my dead brother.
When i left home in the morning diagonally on the other side of the streetcrossing there was a young man standing, he was looking towards me, sligthly smiling, and grapped the bridge of his nose. There was no one else he could have adressed it other than me. After i had passed him he was still standing there, like a watchman. He was wearing a black beanie and a black jacket, he had some similarity to the one who had send me a mail, but was younger and smaller. At a bigger streetcrossing near the park nearly all the people there, could have been up to ten, were wearing black jackets, i think exept one or two wearing dark grey.
At home i did a breath-exercise for some minutes, someone outside said "oh, yes !" to show that they noticed this, sounded as if he was going to report it now. But i think this was for show, it was windy, they'll got it the usual way, and then send someone who kept ready for their instruction.
When i was outside in the early evening i passed a group of children on a streetcrossing, when they were next to me a boy shouted "you are a fucking arsehole !", he was so upset then that he nearly fell of his bicycle, and dropped his bag. Then at the next busstop, about 50m further, there was a bristle-bearded man standing, he looked at me with his mouth open, and pressed his tongue visibly against his upper jaw. He had similarity to the one i described in "some shit", but i cannot be sure, they always liked to sometimes use people who had similarity to each other. One of their motivations to connect people. In the next bigger street i passed a woman who stood at the cycle-lane and said, holding a cellphone, "i got lost"( "ich bin verloren gegangen" ) in a caring way, maybe she was in her late 40ies. Immediatly before i passed her there was another woman with much the same expression. When i crossed the street on my way back where the children have been , three teenagers passed me, one shouted loudly, "i am ~", then an arabic sounding fantasy-name, something with "a" and "z", sounding dramatically as 80ies movie.
When i was back i then walked down to the near supermarket, on the other side of the street there was someone on a bicycle, maybe it was one i knew from aikido, the normal one there, he was looking at the houses constantly at a 45° angle, did not look so special, but could have been to connect to two others from that school, who had looked at a 90°-angle to the side while passing me.
When i was outside in the evening on the low bridge there was someone behind me, shouting towards a group of people in front of me when i was between them. They were some distance away, and he was loudly bawling, he had shaved head, and was of a robust build. Sounded like a rightist. One of the others was pissing, and the man behind me shouted "you pissers" and repeatedly "i'll soon get there"( "ich komme gleich rüber" ), so the group were his people, and what he was shouting was a greeting to them, but also to mark the bridge for the rigthists now.

In the late morning of the 29th i was at the bank, then at the market place-it was market. Most the time there were little children near me. When i arrived at the marketplace a salesman said loudly something like "the downfaller"( "der Absteiger" ), seemed to be an announcement. A woman with a baby carriage said "it's too dangerous here" to her baby and walked away when she was standing near me( and no one else). On my way back a bristle-bearded nosegesturer came towards me in front of a baker, could have been the same as the day before.
In the early afternoon in the park a bald man took away his baby when i passed, just that subtle feeling...

At about midnight, already on the 30th, on my way to a petrol-station i passed a policecar and an ambulance, at another car, seemed that an accident happened there. No visible injured people, but maybe a woman had a shock, the ambulance took her with them. The police was searching for a shoe.
In the morning i passed a sniffer, a woman, maybe in her 50ies, wearing a red jacket.
When i was outside in the late afternoon i passed a young woman who was standing in front of the entrance-door of a shop-closed of course, she wasn't wearing shoes, just white socks, she was just standing there. Near the railwaystation someone wearing a black hooded jacket grimaced a mad smile with staring eyes when i passed. On the eastside someone had disposed a pile of children-shoes at a streetcorner, it had already rained on them. Down that street a gesturer came towards me, he was holding his rigth hand at his head, symbolizing a cellphone. He was wearing a saturated red basecap, and a red-and-white jacket, same red.

It's hardly possible to describe everything, but it's much detailed.