When i got outside in the early afternoon of the 12th of febr., there was a man on the streetcrossing here, he was looking towards the end of the street, same direction as the one from the 10th, and was walking while he was gesticulating, fastly touching his nose and lower face, wich reminded insects communicating with antennas. Maybe 50 years. On the next bigger street there was a man crossing, already in his 60ies, he made a nosegesture. Both had the same sublimal intrinsic agression, maybe rigthists. In front of the supermarket two men were looking at me, they seemed to be somehow upset. When i was walking towards the till a clerk hurried passed me( not the usual one, this one now has darker hair ), resolute walking, short time later their clerk passed me too, moving in the same way, seemed he was following the first one. Just when i stood in line he opened the other till. There was no reason to do so, there were not much people standing in line, the granny in front of me was already putting her wares on the band conveyor, i was the last one, so the second till had only been opened because of me, their clerk wanted to order me to go there. The granny signalized me i should do so. The clerk was doing some resolute noises at the till, because i didn't go there he closed it, then walked away. When i got outside a man passed me, demonstrativly taking off a black stretch-headband, a furious gesture.
When i got back on the street after looking at some animals in an enclosure in the afternoon, there were two men on bicycles, both dressed much the same, and maybe late 40ies, the first had a lengthy shoulder-bag, the second one was waiting at a near traffic ligth and imitated the eye-movement of the animals when looking at me.
At nigth i was at a petrol-station, this time walking. When i left the station i jumped up a little stair, just a few steps, next to a gateway. Just when i was standing there i've seen from the corner of the eye that a small blue car turned in from the street into the gateway behind me. It was fast, no sound, no ligth. Seemed they turned in without deceleration and a feet on the clutch. A skilled driver. Normally i diagonally pass in front of the stair, going directly to the pavement. If i had done this time, maybe i would have run into the car.
When i was outside in the late afternoon of the 13th, i passed the petrolstation again, i wanted to think about the situation at nigth. Now a small blue car, a renault, was parking on the street in the middle in front of the station, no other cars near, so it was exposed. It wasn't the car from the night, that one was darker and had another shape, but maybe about the same size. Short time later i turned around to have a closer look, where i have been standing and such, now at the station a black man passed me, he had copious black make-up around his eyes, not just the lids, the eye-sockets, and it looked as if he had been weeping. He had shorter hair, was wearing an olive-green jacket, and a military shoulder-bag. The renault was still parking there. So this was a comment about the car from the nigth, the eyes should say "no ligth", and maybe because it was dark they picked up a black one. Later on my way several people had a look at me, maybe they were established local artists. One of the last said "but not now"( "naja, jetzt ja nicht" ), when he passed with his wife/friend. This was to show that drawing is theirs, because i had my sketchbook with me in the park in the early afternoon.
When i was at the near supermarket in the early evening, there was a black man standing in front of it, with his back towards me. When i came closer he turned his head, so i've seen him from the side. He had same skin-colour and hairlength as the one before, and was also wearing an olive-green jacket. He had also somewhat similar proportions. I'm not sure, but i think it was another one. The way he stood there looked as if he had to, but didn't want it, maybe he even was afraid, at least not comfortable. He also had some similarity with their black stalker from the 9th, but i think he wasn't as dark, hair was similar, jacket also, maybe the colour was sligthly different.
When i got outside in the late evening( past 10pm) a small newish red car was directly in front of the entrance, driving a little for-and backwards, just parking. All the four cars from the streetcrossing to the entrance were such small cars, then one that was a little longer, because it had a hood, then one more shorty, this one with a st.pauli-sticker on the back screen. Half of these cars were vw, the red one was a ludo.
To deflect from their car-action they had translated this into a black man( nigth ) with make-up( no ligth ). Now they protest against this, transforming small cars into antifascism.
When i was going to the baker at 6am of the 14th, not all of the small cars were still parking there. The newish red ludo had been exchanged for a newish red mini.
When i was outside in the afternoon some people were looking at me, the first was gay, the others were lefties, older than 40. All near a streetcrossing. Then i was in the park, but i moved on because two black dressed people with white sneakers started chi-exercise, after the older one explained something. Both did different exercise, seems to be more like acting than exercise. And i know such people just as stalkers.
The next time i was outside three people were aping the way i was walking, seemes they were also of them. One was dressed in black with a leather coat, another one somewhat similar like me.
On my way to a petrolstation at nigth i passed a gesturer with a cellphone at the park. When i turned in a sidestreet i was talking some words to myself, somewhat stagy, about that they want to drive me into suicide. I already drunk 3 cans of beer. Too late i've seen that one of them was standing on the street, on the rigth side from my view, a tall man with a black jacket, stock-still and in that guard-like way as the one from the 10th. He was holding a cellphone or so in front of him, but wide for that, maybe he recorded me. But it was dark. On my way back i passed the gesturer again, the first time he had his arm stretched forwards horizontally, moving it with his shoulder for- and backwards, the hand as if he wanted to grasp something, now he said a louder arabian-sounding word when i had passed.
In the early morning of the 15th i was first going to the bank, at the corner there was a man holding an unfolded tissue at his nose, sniffing, covering his lower face. Then around the corner there was a woman with a bicycle in front of the bank, she was holding a tissue in the same way and made the same noise, then evidently looked at my groin.
When i was outside in the afternoon i once had to step to the side at the record shop, because a hurried man came towards me, an older man wearing an olive green parka, probably an artist. Short time later i passed there again, now a young couple came out of an entrance, she said "they'll be out soon"( "sie sind ja bald wieder draussen" ), to say that i would know imprisoned people.
This was all that day.
When i was outside in the later afternoon of the 16th there were some spread lefties who looked at me. I knew one of them vaguely a good ten years ago. I basically have the tendency not to look at peoples faces too long, nearly all reactions are hostile, derisively. My head already turned, but i was still looking and she too, and looked normally. Didn't expect this. Later there was a restrained but routinated sniffer, a young man on a bicycle, just when i had passed a black man with closed headphones.
On my way to a petrolstation in the evening i've seen someone i knew somewhat long ago, he already did something for them. In the station exept two clerks there were a woman at the till, and a man standing there and waiting. The woman loudly said "... a pumpgun"( using the english word ), then turned around, making a fast step towards me, looking into my face. The man belonged to her, both left. The clerk wondered about it, seemed context was missing. The couple was dressed proper, conservativly, maybe 50 years.
In the late evening a couple passed outside, the woman explained something, seemed someone had desinformed her about something. Sounded like these make-your-comment-here-speakers, but not hostile.
At nigth i was again at a petrolstation, a man on a bicycle came towards me, without holding on the handlebar, sitting perfectly uprigth, he spread his stretched rigth arm fastly somewhat to the side and back while looking at me, aware and motionless. Was wearing a black jacket.
That was all that day.
When i was at the bank at noon of the 17th, a man on a bicycle passed me before i arrived, and at entrance he came walking towards me from the side, so i had to breake. I was very slow, because of my health, and he made fun of this with the way he steps, and also wanted to show me his new brown shoes with that. He was wearing a black coat, seemed to be sportive, with the way he moved he could have been a soldier. The proper way he was dressed reminded me the man of the woman who said "pumpgun". When i was inside a bus stopped at the traffic ligth at the streetcrossing in front of the bank. There was a thanks to uck written in big letters on the car. This was the only car in sigth, no traffic at all. The man inside the bank stood directly in front of the closed glass door that leads inside, he made a noise, seemed he was drawing his card through the interstice. A symbol for a break-in. Then i was at the baker in the railwaystation, when i would have been next a man leaned over the showcase, cutting me in line, and ordered something i usually buy there. Then he looked at me, then mumbling something when turning his head "...you...not...". He was taller than me, somewhat gaunt, dark hair, mustache, maybe 50. Despite him i then bougth what i usually buy there. When i took my products a bigger woman with black long hair, maybe late 40ies, stepped next to me, where the man stood before, and also ordered this.
When i was outside in the afternoon i heared honking cars, and got there to have a look. It was the kosovo-celebration convoy. I followed up to the next streetcrossing. There the policeman who had stopped the traffic for them turned around and came running towards me when i crossed, so i had to breake, but then he let me pass. There was the bus again, now from the other side, but same writing, some more thanks, it was the leading car.
That was it that day. So for some days there was less than usual frequency.
When i was at the bank in the early afternoon of the 18th a female clerk of the bank came in, stood in front of the closed glass-door and called for another clerk inside, who didn't show up. Seems to be a comment about the man from the day before. Then i was in the cheap supermarket, when i had entered and took something out of the shelf near the entrance, their clerk came around the corner and passed me. He walked the corridor to the end, he just showed up to show up, nothing else. When he was some distance away he put his rigth hand on his chest, like programmed. Otherwise he seemed to be somewhat enraged when i have seen him, also a little sniffing noise, some impulses. He can hold it back when he has instructions for that. The performing clerk. When i was standing in line a stubby man in front of me extensively looked at me from the corner of his eye, maybe a mind-joke, that staring at someone would be naturally that way. Outside there was the magazine seller who is also one of them, when i unlocked my bicycle a white man with a complete traditional face-tatoo and black sunglasses walked to the shop, when he was near me the seller called him "friend".
I was outside in the afternoon again with my bicycle at the animals-enclosure, on my way to it two somewhat darker men passed me, both with the same expression and moving the same way, but with some distance so despite they were connected with this they couldn't communicate. They looked somewhat if they had to go there. Maybe this was inpired somehow by the kosovo now. At the animals there were two woman with a dog, they blocked the way with the dog-leash and shouted "jump" at me, stupid fun. But they stopped it when i came closer. The dog was some distance away and didn't notice this, so this was a plea, they also did this leash-holding again for a moment, as if it would be an exercise. On a mission but childish. On my way back several people looked at me, mostly on bicycles, they appeared officially to me. One man on a bicycle who was with them looked like a soldier, the way he moved, also jacket and saddle-bags, the cliche of the relaxed soldier. Back in town a man, don't think he belonged to the previous, came towards me, he had a very uprigth but uptight body-posture, pressed his chin against the throat to accent this. He was wearing a black suit, a blue shirt and beneath this a white t-shirt/undershirt.
When i got outside in the late afternoon there was a man standing in front of the door, ringing. When i opened the door he looked at me, i at him, i said hi( "tag" ), he stepped back and said "oh god", copious hectically waving about with his hands while looking directly into my eyes and making a step backwards. With the way he looked i had to like him because he was so funny. It was more like an exercise than trying to really look surprised. He appeared to be really harmless. In the park i shaked my arms and legs somewhat, it's always more than necessary because of my health, but always beeing watched and commented makes a barrier. When i was leaving the park i passed a woman who was playing with a bunch of little children. She walked around and loudly said "and now i'm coming with my big tick-finger"( "und dann komme ich mit meinem grossen Tick-Finger" )( in german the f***-word has an i instead of u ). I don't think any adult or pubescent would accidentially speak this way, and it didn't sound like this. When i had left the park and passed in front of the bank a man who was holding his stretched arms somewhat spread came towards me. So this was a chi-exercise, he looked as if he couldn't get it off himself, as if they would always have to be like this now, like stuck on one-piece-arms. He was wearing a black leather jacket.
In the evening a robust man with a motionless face came towards he, holding his stretched fingers at his nosebridge, covering it.
When i was in the park in the early afternoon of the 19th there was a man standing in front of a tree on top of the big meadow, facing towards the coffee&fries-hut where i had been banned. The man was posing as sugar loaf jesus, as a chi-exercise, holding this position without moving at all. I sat down on a bank a good distance away. He took another posture, praying, his hands in front of his chin and throat, with his posture obviously still jesus. Then he took his bicycle and cycled away.
When i got outside in the afternoon, two newish cars passed on the streetcrossing here, both had the same nearly black green colour, the second one was a mini, he stopped for a moment, so i could have crossed in front of him. In the bank there was a sniffer, not loud, seemd he knew well that i've heared this often enough, before that he looked at me, into my eyes, in an understood way, it wasn't as emotionally overloaded as they usually are, he wants to appear as a naturally superior. Maybe 50, somewhat bigger, robust, dark clothing.
When i was outside in the late afternoon and arrived at the park, there was a couple walking, in their 20ies, the man looked at me and closed his nostrils, pressing them with thumb and forefinger.Took his hand away, still was looking at me, constantly, somewhat similar to the man in the bank. Short distance further there was a couple standing, looking towards me as observers, the man commented "somewhat more"( "etwas mehr" ). Maybe 50 years, fitted to the other couple, could be a family. Conservative people, the honest citizens. Later in the city there were twice women/girls who did obviously poor acting as surprised ones. Not much later there was a woman with fixed grey eyes, even the white appeared to be a shade of the grey, and tiny pupils, looked like coated with a dull metal powder.
Mittwoch, 20. Februar 2008
Dienstag, 12. Februar 2008
sexualizing cheese
In the afternoon of the 1rst of february a man came running towards me, somewhat slomo-like. Wide steppes, and he was holding his arms like a football-player or so, moving in a constructed trollish way. Seemed he was heading towards the record-shop( the second-hand-shop ) behind me, they are marking it as their territory. I had just bougth a record online. He was a taller sportive blonde man, wearing a black woolen pullover, with some red on it.
In the early evening, this time i was walking, in the sidestreet that leads from a petrolstation to the cheap supermarket( the righists with the flag showed up on the 17th jan. there ) a woman in front of me turned around twice and holded up her hand, beckoning on my by moving it like a windscreen wiper, both times the same, so she appeared to be programmed. There was no one else this could have been adressed at. Maybe in her 50ies, black coat, a shoulder bag. She turned in the next street, so i didn't, because i don't wanted to be near the stalker. I entered the supermarket, it seemed to be a spontaneous idea to me, but maybe it just resulted from not turning in the direction of the woman. In the supermarket there was a bald person who remindet me a martial art-teacher( in the school that was owned by the one from the 24/27th jan. ), in companion of someone who was obviously gay. This would be funny, i had to stop training because i was the gay there. At one of the tills there was their clerk, so i stood in line at the other one. At the woman in front of me the female clerk couldn't scan an article, when this happened it's usually to get someone in position. This time there was a black man passing when i had paid, maybe they wanted me to face a black man. The last person who had raised a greeting arm was the black one on the 30th of jan., so maybe the black one now and the woman should combine to a comment on this, smudging it.
When i arrived back a neighbour left, when i had left a neighbour outside was just taking out her key, the last time before when i arrived back and opened also a neighbour left.
In the morning of the second i woke up because someone rung the door. It was one of my neighbours and a friend, maybe a relative. They had lost their key.
About one hour later someone passing the house said " of course he's ensnaring them all...you know the eye eats more than the gastric can take...haha "( "...verführt natürlich alle...du weisst das auge isst mehr als der Magen abkann..haha" ). Seemed they are taking revenge for me opening the door, sexualizing it, because one of the two was black.
I joined a demonstration before noon, when some clowns made fun of a viewer on a balcony a man behind me sayed "lock up" when i looked at them. This sounded as if this was adressed at me, instead a comment on the clowns. It was a bigger man, maybe late 40ies, i think it had a sexual meaning for him. Later, when the object of the complainment was in sigth, a man behind me sayed "there is the enemy"( "da ist der Feind" ), in the moment when i just had looked in the direction of some demonstrators, among them a clown who was black. The way he said it had this typical aimed pronounciation, as the "lock up" before. Haven't turned around, but must have been some of the black dressed lefties, i think there were three males behind me. I've seen one person i knew once there, but he concentrated not looking at me when he passed. At the end there were speakers, a woman said "techno-freaks" would like this power-plant, because building it would be loud, and then added "these tf", as if they she was talking about certain persons who are really supporting this. So it sounded overdone, and it reminded me one of their leaders.
About one hour after i was back a couple( sounded like this )passed in front of the house, the woman loudly declared "at the moment i have no problems !"( "Also, im Moment habe ich keine Probleme" ).
I was at the near supermarket in the afternoon, when i left a black dressed young slender man passed down at the street, when he was in line of me he toched the frame of his glasses, moving them to say he knows that i would think to be in the know( look through it->den Durchblick haben ). He did not look at me, but with the timing, beeing in line ofme, it was clearly adressed at me, and obviously an ironic gesture. He had a plaited iroquese haircut, black and neon-like green, and the sleeves of his pants and sweater got wider to the ends, like trumpets, obviously a techno-freak, an especially stylish one. At the near streetcrossing a woman on a bicycle came towards me, looking at me, she had a shoulder-bag with the swiss flag on it. Think she was a techno-fan.
When i was outside in the afternoon of the 3rd, walking in the park, a young slender man came towards me, he came from a bank at the water and closed a short khaki stretch-scarf behind his head, covering his face below his eyes. He looked at me while mumming, then turned around and walked in front of me. He wasn't fast and walked like an older man. He imitated the rhythm of my steps and then slowed down at the near crossing, and because he was nasty and i didn't wanted to get close to him he slowed me down with this, like a breake. When i then shuffled with a step he aped this. He was wearing a dark coat, was dressed somewhat conservativly, would have fitted better to older person, could have been the mummed one from the 30th of jan., commenting himself. Later, it was already dark, a man wearing baggy pants came towards me, i first thougth he would be a teenager, there was such an expression in the energetic straigthforward-way he moved, but when i looked at his gaunt face he must have been in his 30ies. He made big steps, using much space, and there was tension on his body, especially his legs. He wanted me to react by stepping to the side. When he had passed he loudly coughed, it was a kiai. Maybe he hoped to be more unsettling, and that why couldn't trigger and discharged later.
In the early afternoon of the 4th a man came towards me, forming his mouth to a round hole while pressing his tongue at his upper jaw, looking like a inflatable doll. When he was next to me he made two short scuffling stomping steps on the balls of his feet, to make pressure. He was wearing a camoflage jacket, wide jeans, a trained person, maybe 40, won't wonder if he was in organized crime.
When i was at the cheap supermarket in the afternoon there was only one open till, with their clerk sitting there. People paying before me seemed to personally know him, especially two pimple-burdened glad teenagers. He behaved normally, i didn't say anything. It's too funny, he harrassed me again and again, now they scaled him down in a few steps, and know he expects that i have to accept that it has just been his rigth to do so, and it's nothing personally, because he lacks a motive and just did was his superiors told him. He pressed the change sligthly into my hand. Also someone behind me, a taller black dressed man, seemed to know him. Society supports him. The man outside who sells a magazine had also stalked me.
When i was in the bank in the afternoon there was a good-looking teenage-girl standing there in the middle between the automates, facing me, like presentation. Not sexual or so, just that i would have to recognize the person. There had been also two men, when i got out one of them stepped behind me, this was before i passed the girl who was standing at an automat now. The man had estimated this and i had to stop, ending up in the same step-position like him, facing the girl. It was as if he wanted to become me, transfer into me. He was dressed in black and had a short grey beard, what they talked before seemed to be a bet if he would get me there.
When i was at the near supermarket a younger man looked at me, i instinctivly dodged this, just because he was black. Then immediatly i recognized that he was my neighbour, but i had already looked away and he got it. He isn't one of their racial ones and has not much similarity with them, but the theme was present to me.
When i was walking on a street at the park in the afternoon of the 5th, the first one of them was an old man with a brown coat, he was a nosegesturer. On the next streetcrosing an agressive man, grey hair and a dull orange jacket, came towards me, he slightly but abruptly adjusted his direction so he was heading towards me, and i automatically adjusted mine not to collide with him. The next one, still at the park, had a similar expression, he was walking somewhat faster than me, When he had passed me he turned his head twice or thrice at 90° to the side, to show that he was there because he was aware of me. He was an athletic man, seemed really well-trained, his face had some similarity with Uri G., maybe thats why they picked him. He had a very straigth body and neck posture, And with his dark hair, jacket and gloves he did remind me the man with the earphones from 31rst of jan.. This one now was wearing a jack wolveskin-jacket, grey pants and white swiss-sneakers. In front of the streetcrossing a black woman with a baby carriage came towards me, next to her was a little child who yawned and made a few steppes towards me when i was close. The next person was a darker man, maybe 50, who was standing on the other side of the streetcrossing, when there was green ligth he moved that i could not now if he wanted to pass me to the rigth or the left, so i was irritated for a moment and stopped. So i had looked at a black child, and now they show that they are watching me. The man wanted to draw conclusions from the degree of my irritation about thougths i could have had when watching the child. He had routine stopping someone that way, i think he did something like this before independently.
On my way back from a petrolstation at nigth a police-bus stopped on a bigger street, there was no traffic at all, i had to stop. The driver was speaking very loud, with overdone pronunciation, he wanted me to tell him why they stopped me. I sayed because of the ligth, and he sayed that it was also because i was on the wrong side, and i had to corrrect this now and and also get off the bicycle( " das und verkehrte Seite, das korrigieren sie jetzt" ). So they obviously made fun of me, on the wide pavement no one would care about the side even during daytime, with no people both getting off and changing side would make no sense. It was political humour. I took another way, along the park, for the case that they would turn around. Near home two men passed me , one of them was dressed in black, the other one was wearing a blue goretexjacket, he said "ocasionally"( "gelegentlich" ), to be heared.
When i passed an opened entrance in the morning of the 6th, a hackled up woman, maybe 50, on the stairway inside loudly shouted "someone is reading out !"( "da liesst einer vor !" ).
In the evening i bougth me fast food at an asian restaurant, when i left a somewhat darker man, maybe arabian background, entered. He looked into my eyes, with a neutral expression, but walked straigthforward, he surprised me and i stepped to the side, so he won. His expression made a contrast to the way he moved, for him it was his natural rigth to harass me. He was athletic, trained, and wearing a black jacket.
When i woke up on the 7th, there was constantly a woman talking in the flat above me. It was so consistent that i first thougth it must be tv or so, the only word i understood was an autogenous "i'm tired"( "ich bin müde" ).
When i arrived at the park at noon a police-car passed me. At the end of the encircling street they turned around to pass me again. They were watching me, seemed they were the policemen from the 5th, this was the way i had choosen not to encounter them again.
In the afternoon i was in the supermarket where i bougth a bottle on the 16th of jan., on my way there were two dark dressed with sunglasses near the supermarket, to comment a cd i got that day, and two sniffing females on bicycles near home. A woman and a sunlassed one each on my way to the market and back, much symmetrical stalker-pattern. In the supermarket the person in line of me seemed to be a young teenager, but she had a shapey female body for that. I somehow had the feeling that she could be one of them, maybe because of the very sligth but fast electrifyed momentums she constantly had while moving, so i didn't want to get too close. She seemed to be young because of the texture of her long straigth hair and the typical way she moved. When i was putting my wares on the band-conveyor in a moment i was looking in her direction she turned around, holding her face directly in front of mine. This was very fast and she got the rigth moment, normally only trained people could do so, and few could estimate the distance for the faces. She was holding her face there for maybe a second, then took it away in much the same way. It was so close that i couldn't look at her, because it would have been intimate, so she was faceless. Maybe she was conditioned with hypnosis for that, some of them are, and all this locking on me often seemes to be already on the border to it.
When i was outside in the late afternoon in the park a couple with two little children on bicycles came towards me. The woman was dressed in black and had black hair, she was hand in hand with her friend, a skinhead with a black sweater and snow-camouflage-pants. The woman explained "you will stay on the rigth side"( "ihr blaibt rechts" ), wich didn't fit as an instruction for the children, they were used as a plea for a political comment that connects to the policemen from the 5th. The skinheads expression said that the acting was too awkward for his taste, maybe because he was presented for that. At the streetcrossing at the park where the darker man has been on the 5th, now there was a black man who breathes out deeply before passing me. Later in a sidestreet a black dressed man with glasses and short black hair came towards me, he looked at me with his mouth gaping open, wet eyes. Short distance later there was another man with the same expression, a blonde punk. The first had a fleshy face, the second was gaunt, both in their 40ies, walking in line. Behind them a little boy followed, seemed he was also part of that. In front of a hospital there was a taller black man with long rastas standing, at the other side of the street. He first stood with his back towards me, he was wearing a punk leather jacket with spikes and something written on it, maybe he wanted to show me. Seemed he belonged to the gapers. Then he turned around and looked at me, smiling. I had already seen him on the 4th, the time i was outside when the man in the bank stood behind me to make me face the teenage girl, later i passed two young teenage girls( with bicycle, as usual ), they recognized me lately, turned around and smiled. The next person, short distance further, was this black man, who also looked at me and smiled, as he did now. And now he was also presenting a sheet with photos or so printed on it, in a polythene foil, like magazine sellers do.
This day i've descibed all of them.
At 1:30am of the 8th some men, i think they were three, came down the street here, one was twice loudly shouting a name. I knew someone with that name, as far as i knew he lives inanother city since 2000 or so. The pronounciation would also fit, exept it was overdone, they were paroding. Down the street they shouted "eh" and "hö", just vowels. Twenty minutes later again, they came down from the same direction, don't know if they had walked a circle or if these were others, one of them was shouting the name twice in front of the house. I said "shut up"( "halt die Fresse" ), seemed they were irritated that i dared to response, they walked down the street, once more the name, but not loud, then they stopped and were exchanging some words. At 2:30 they came up the street, stopped at the streetcrossing and hissed, to make fun of my complainment. Then street down, one crossing further, there was a bang, seemed one of them fired a gas-pistol. Probably they were rightists.
In the forenoon a man with a cellphone was standing below the window, with his back towards me. He said "tell your mom what the price for parking 5 meters in front of a crossing is "( "sag mal deiner Mama was das kostet, 5m vor der Kreuzung parken" ). The only context i could think of is this could have been a cop who doesn't think that demonstrating against nazi should be criminalized( but it would be about a demonstration years ago, not the environmental one in this posting ). He was wearing a dark jacket with an intense blue between the shoulders, wich is like the blue of the police, but was also the favourite stalkers colour in '02. He had a retriever dog with him.
When i brougth down some waste there was a man standing in front of the entrance, he just wanted to enter. He said three words, didn't understand the first two, the third was "Deutschland", he spoke the vowels somewhat longer, it was the name of his company. He said he would be from cable tv and was here for meter-reading. After throwing away the waste i got back end opened the celler-door, walked down with him. We stood in front of the access, there were no meters that could have been read. He explained that if cable-tv would be watched illegally there would a cable coming out of the side of the access, but here everything would be under seal( verplombt ). Seemed he wanted to explain further details, i yawned while he was gesticulating an imaginary illegal cable. He was strange, he then wanted to know who would be the caretaker of the house, i had already locked the cellar-door, when i got outside he noticed the adress on the wall, despite obviously no one here had interest in cable-tv, and he should have known the caretaker before. He had shorter dark hair, maybe 50 years, he was carrying a black case and was dressed with an orange jacket, the colour of the stalkers in '01, it was as if the cellar magnetically had attracted him.
I walked to the baker, there were some people before me, when i bougth bread exept the saleswoman there was only a girl in the shop. She seemed to be extremely horny, she was giving it off. Not vulgar, but intense, it was too present. She leaned on the cabinet as if it would be a bar, looking like ready now. I felt like mammal. Then she ordered a cheese-croissant, speaking as if she would whisper dirty wishes. Sexualizing cheese-croissant towards an older female baker was too silly, no matter how horny chicks could be, i doubted she knew at all what she was doing. She had enhanced the intimate, it was like inverted. She was dressed in black, a detail on her boots fitted to my girdle, i bougth it last year, and cutted it to rigth length two days ago, wearing it since then. She could have been the same girl from the day before in the supermarket, she had the same hair colour. Then they would have cutted her hair, used another shampoo and exchanged typically young teenage motoric for a bitchy one. They both had the same theme, the intimate. The girl now looked like from a glossy magazin, age would be perfect 17. On my way back the cable-tv-man came towards me, he had walked up the street but then turned around.
His illegal-cable-comment would fit to the burned house in Ludwigshafen, but i think at this point it was at least not officially mentioned as a possible source for the fire.
The next time i was outside a little boy on a bicycle came towards me at a streetcrossing at the near place, short distance behind him a couple turned in, walking in the familiar determined way, they wanted to be recognized, i still was mentally spammed enough to look away. The man said "he didn't play with that"( "damit spielt er nicht rum" ), seemed this was to connect my penis to the boy. I was at the shopping centre, this time i was outside there have been several lefties who had a look at me, one was wearing a turned fligth jacket, showing the orange.
When i was at home and looked out of the window a nosegesturer passed, a younger man, maybe 20, probably turkish background, wearing an olive green jacket.
When i was outside in the afternoon a nosegesturer, at some animals some of what people sayed seemed to be vaguely genital comments, there were also children, when i was in the shopping centre before and bougth tabacco it was somewhat like this, something seemed to be a comment, then i don't know if other is still also, an attention-consuming sphere with foggy borders.
When i was at a petrolstation in the evening there where two people, one of them explained "one couldn't talk normally to her"( "mit der kann man ja nicht normal reden" ), wich was ironically.
Have described this day detailed.
In the morning of the 9th someone outside sayed "good luck, bye"( "viel glück, tschüss" ), somewhat sarcastic, to symbolize someone who would abandone me.
On my way to a baker a man in his 20ies, wearing a blue hooded sweater, came out of a house, from the corner of my eye i've seen that he made a wide gesture for drinking beer. In the last time i often drink a few in the evening, including yesterday. In the baker there have been many people, behind me there were three black dressed men, one was standing to my side, directly facing me, he was taking a firm stance and said "there are tigther(vaginas)"( "es gibt ja auch engere" ), so this was a comment on the girl in the baker the day before. So thats the usual inquisition, they make some pressure on me, this cannot lead to a conversation, and if it would happen despite of this they would have to attack me if i would tell them who does this.( Edit : maybe i've reflected too much in this, and they were just kind of pimps who blatantly accused me for not pickung on the girl, and i didn't get it because they always claim to be the highest morale ) So they can feel important with their marking now. On my way back a man who looked like a well-known local comic-artist passed me, and three people had a look on me, two estimating, one hostile, lefties.
I was in the near supermarket at noon, there were two rigthist stalkers, one was smaller but not weak, short hair and suntanned, he stood in front of me and looked into my eyes, somehow stupid, nearly astounded. The other one was bigger, dark hair, black jacket, black shoes with big buckles, he obviously followed me when i turned in a corridor. Perhaps they were the name-shouters, or even had to do with this girl now.
Short time before i got outside in the afternoon a man was walking down the street, he took a hunch-backed posture, and once a normal one to show that this was acting. He had dark hair and was wearing a black jacket, he had similarity with the one who had been made their mobber in favour when i tried to get into the next bigger town in about 2000.
When i got outside in the afternoon, on my way to the laundry, a dark black man came up the street here. He had repeatedly stalked me, seemed he lives or lived near me. When i was smoking a cigarette outside the laundry and looked to the left, there was the former burgomaster. In the moment i've seen him, without further looking in that direction, he decided to turn around and start running, he nearly run into a girl on a bicycle. He had an individual conspicious relaxed running style, and was in good condition, especially regarding his age. Street down he arived at a bus and was holding up his left had to signalize that the bus should wait for him, when he was behind it. He was wearing a dark jacket and khaki cord pants. Short time later a man crossed the street, coming from the rigth, running till he arrived on the place. He was bald, had a big full beard, maybe late 30ies, cannot really say because of the distance, no jacket, only sweater, he had the same running style. When i was inside the laundry again a man started running, short distance in front of the streetcrossing, but then stopped with already half a feet on the street, because of the traffic ligth, despite lack of traffic. He then turned and affiliated a circle, looking at me wich was nasty. He had grey hair, but was in good shape, and a detail of his hair had similarity with mine, maybe that's why they picked him. When i was outside again another man started running, this one street up, some distance away. I didn't want to see one more running man, so i turned around. He passed me running, close for no reason. He was overweigthed and was wearing disadvantageous tigth olive green sweater and pants, both made of thin cloth, no jacket. Just when i had left the laundry two heavier black woman with a baby carriage came towards me, short distance further there was a blonde woman, maybe in her 40ies, with a cellphone, she said "halo, here is eva". With the "halo" she was aping a female neighbour of me, who was much younger than she, the "eva" was part of the title of a record i got today. Seemed it was fun to her. Short distance further there was a black man standing in front of two taller white ones, seemed he was the stalker who appeared when i got outside( have seen him only from behind now ). I had the impression that he had to obstruct the two others.
When i was outside in the late afternoon in the pedestrian zone one of two men said " how should we act like"( "wie sollen wir uns verhalten" ), before passing me. He sounded somewhat broken, didn't look at them, but they could have been the two at the black one before.
Have described the very most that day.
When i got outside in the early afternoon of the 10th there was a black dressed man standing at the streetcrossing here. He was standing on the street, facing straigth to the end up the street, didn't move. He was shaved bald, his chin-beard was a dark thin line, he was wearing a black beret, black sunglasses, black leather jacket and boots or shoes with a similar finish, all in black. His fashion added to the guard-like expression of his stance. When i had passed i turned around, he did also, seemed he had expected this.
I was at the baker at the railwaystation, at the stairs someone said "muslim". At the water there was a dark dressed skinhead with his girlfriend sitting on a bank. After he had looked at me he laughed and said "something like this exists"( "sowas gibt es" ). At the street in front of the bridge a grey-haired man with two leashed dogs stood next to me, he had stalked me before, he often sells magazines in front of the supermarket with their trained clerk. He said "why are you dragging"( "warum zieht ihr so" ), so this was to explain that i naturally attract them. He had already harrasset me with passing farting when they wanted to get me out of the park, but this was his holy duty. If don't like him because of this maybe i'm just not enlighted enough to see that they are without fail. I passed one more skinhead on my way back, he was wearing a black flight jacket, would somehow fit to the previous one, already in his 40ies. And a sniffer passed me, a long-haired rocker on a bicycle who crossed the street towards me.
When i was outside in the late afternoon i was sitting in the park. A group of people passed me, two women in the front, one was gesticulating and explained" he had supported this, and he had also supported that"( "er hat das unterstützt, und das hat er auch unterstützt" ), sounding really serious, one also turned around, looking at me. They were 10 people, maybe a dozen. They were walking somewhat faster, they had a goal and resembled a miniature-demonstration. Among the last ones there was a teenager with curly hair, he said "this would look even more gay", then turned around towards me, saying "so what"( "das sieht dann ja noch schwuler aus, ach egal" ). So this was a comment on the demonstration from the 2nd. In the middle there was a black man( not the clown from the demonstration ). Not much later a woman who had been my neighbour for a short time ten years ago passed me when i left the park, she had an absent expression, like faded out, and sligthly looked to the side. She was wearing an olive green parka and pants. Later there was an overdone acting about helping a wheelchair-driver. They used a real handicaped one for that. They had also moved/directed some others this time.
I had been outside twice after this, there have also been a few people who made comments or so, but they were different, they behaved like normal people. Two complained as a double because i had no ligth, but this didn't seem to be serious, more like cabaret.
On the 11th there was nearly nothing, a sligth sniffer with a dog, and then a jogging nosegesturer, both in the park.
In the beginning of this month my neighbour above me did nothing or nearly nothing the first days, then got back to toilet-following, also once used this ball, he puts it on the ground. But it's not so intense now. On the 5th he was tossing something on the ground, maybe a focus, could have been boots, sounded as if something was attached to them, clumsy rumbling things.
In the early evening, this time i was walking, in the sidestreet that leads from a petrolstation to the cheap supermarket( the righists with the flag showed up on the 17th jan. there ) a woman in front of me turned around twice and holded up her hand, beckoning on my by moving it like a windscreen wiper, both times the same, so she appeared to be programmed. There was no one else this could have been adressed at. Maybe in her 50ies, black coat, a shoulder bag. She turned in the next street, so i didn't, because i don't wanted to be near the stalker. I entered the supermarket, it seemed to be a spontaneous idea to me, but maybe it just resulted from not turning in the direction of the woman. In the supermarket there was a bald person who remindet me a martial art-teacher( in the school that was owned by the one from the 24/27th jan. ), in companion of someone who was obviously gay. This would be funny, i had to stop training because i was the gay there. At one of the tills there was their clerk, so i stood in line at the other one. At the woman in front of me the female clerk couldn't scan an article, when this happened it's usually to get someone in position. This time there was a black man passing when i had paid, maybe they wanted me to face a black man. The last person who had raised a greeting arm was the black one on the 30th of jan., so maybe the black one now and the woman should combine to a comment on this, smudging it.
When i arrived back a neighbour left, when i had left a neighbour outside was just taking out her key, the last time before when i arrived back and opened also a neighbour left.
In the morning of the second i woke up because someone rung the door. It was one of my neighbours and a friend, maybe a relative. They had lost their key.
About one hour later someone passing the house said " of course he's ensnaring them all...you know the eye eats more than the gastric can take...haha "( "...verführt natürlich alle...du weisst das auge isst mehr als der Magen abkann..haha" ). Seemed they are taking revenge for me opening the door, sexualizing it, because one of the two was black.
I joined a demonstration before noon, when some clowns made fun of a viewer on a balcony a man behind me sayed "lock up" when i looked at them. This sounded as if this was adressed at me, instead a comment on the clowns. It was a bigger man, maybe late 40ies, i think it had a sexual meaning for him. Later, when the object of the complainment was in sigth, a man behind me sayed "there is the enemy"( "da ist der Feind" ), in the moment when i just had looked in the direction of some demonstrators, among them a clown who was black. The way he said it had this typical aimed pronounciation, as the "lock up" before. Haven't turned around, but must have been some of the black dressed lefties, i think there were three males behind me. I've seen one person i knew once there, but he concentrated not looking at me when he passed. At the end there were speakers, a woman said "techno-freaks" would like this power-plant, because building it would be loud, and then added "these tf", as if they she was talking about certain persons who are really supporting this. So it sounded overdone, and it reminded me one of their leaders.
About one hour after i was back a couple( sounded like this )passed in front of the house, the woman loudly declared "at the moment i have no problems !"( "Also, im Moment habe ich keine Probleme" ).
I was at the near supermarket in the afternoon, when i left a black dressed young slender man passed down at the street, when he was in line of me he toched the frame of his glasses, moving them to say he knows that i would think to be in the know( look through it->den Durchblick haben ). He did not look at me, but with the timing, beeing in line ofme, it was clearly adressed at me, and obviously an ironic gesture. He had a plaited iroquese haircut, black and neon-like green, and the sleeves of his pants and sweater got wider to the ends, like trumpets, obviously a techno-freak, an especially stylish one. At the near streetcrossing a woman on a bicycle came towards me, looking at me, she had a shoulder-bag with the swiss flag on it. Think she was a techno-fan.
When i was outside in the afternoon of the 3rd, walking in the park, a young slender man came towards me, he came from a bank at the water and closed a short khaki stretch-scarf behind his head, covering his face below his eyes. He looked at me while mumming, then turned around and walked in front of me. He wasn't fast and walked like an older man. He imitated the rhythm of my steps and then slowed down at the near crossing, and because he was nasty and i didn't wanted to get close to him he slowed me down with this, like a breake. When i then shuffled with a step he aped this. He was wearing a dark coat, was dressed somewhat conservativly, would have fitted better to older person, could have been the mummed one from the 30th of jan., commenting himself. Later, it was already dark, a man wearing baggy pants came towards me, i first thougth he would be a teenager, there was such an expression in the energetic straigthforward-way he moved, but when i looked at his gaunt face he must have been in his 30ies. He made big steps, using much space, and there was tension on his body, especially his legs. He wanted me to react by stepping to the side. When he had passed he loudly coughed, it was a kiai. Maybe he hoped to be more unsettling, and that why couldn't trigger and discharged later.
In the early afternoon of the 4th a man came towards me, forming his mouth to a round hole while pressing his tongue at his upper jaw, looking like a inflatable doll. When he was next to me he made two short scuffling stomping steps on the balls of his feet, to make pressure. He was wearing a camoflage jacket, wide jeans, a trained person, maybe 40, won't wonder if he was in organized crime.
When i was at the cheap supermarket in the afternoon there was only one open till, with their clerk sitting there. People paying before me seemed to personally know him, especially two pimple-burdened glad teenagers. He behaved normally, i didn't say anything. It's too funny, he harrassed me again and again, now they scaled him down in a few steps, and know he expects that i have to accept that it has just been his rigth to do so, and it's nothing personally, because he lacks a motive and just did was his superiors told him. He pressed the change sligthly into my hand. Also someone behind me, a taller black dressed man, seemed to know him. Society supports him. The man outside who sells a magazine had also stalked me.
When i was in the bank in the afternoon there was a good-looking teenage-girl standing there in the middle between the automates, facing me, like presentation. Not sexual or so, just that i would have to recognize the person. There had been also two men, when i got out one of them stepped behind me, this was before i passed the girl who was standing at an automat now. The man had estimated this and i had to stop, ending up in the same step-position like him, facing the girl. It was as if he wanted to become me, transfer into me. He was dressed in black and had a short grey beard, what they talked before seemed to be a bet if he would get me there.
When i was at the near supermarket a younger man looked at me, i instinctivly dodged this, just because he was black. Then immediatly i recognized that he was my neighbour, but i had already looked away and he got it. He isn't one of their racial ones and has not much similarity with them, but the theme was present to me.
When i was walking on a street at the park in the afternoon of the 5th, the first one of them was an old man with a brown coat, he was a nosegesturer. On the next streetcrosing an agressive man, grey hair and a dull orange jacket, came towards me, he slightly but abruptly adjusted his direction so he was heading towards me, and i automatically adjusted mine not to collide with him. The next one, still at the park, had a similar expression, he was walking somewhat faster than me, When he had passed me he turned his head twice or thrice at 90° to the side, to show that he was there because he was aware of me. He was an athletic man, seemed really well-trained, his face had some similarity with Uri G., maybe thats why they picked him. He had a very straigth body and neck posture, And with his dark hair, jacket and gloves he did remind me the man with the earphones from 31rst of jan.. This one now was wearing a jack wolveskin-jacket, grey pants and white swiss-sneakers. In front of the streetcrossing a black woman with a baby carriage came towards me, next to her was a little child who yawned and made a few steppes towards me when i was close. The next person was a darker man, maybe 50, who was standing on the other side of the streetcrossing, when there was green ligth he moved that i could not now if he wanted to pass me to the rigth or the left, so i was irritated for a moment and stopped. So i had looked at a black child, and now they show that they are watching me. The man wanted to draw conclusions from the degree of my irritation about thougths i could have had when watching the child. He had routine stopping someone that way, i think he did something like this before independently.
On my way back from a petrolstation at nigth a police-bus stopped on a bigger street, there was no traffic at all, i had to stop. The driver was speaking very loud, with overdone pronunciation, he wanted me to tell him why they stopped me. I sayed because of the ligth, and he sayed that it was also because i was on the wrong side, and i had to corrrect this now and and also get off the bicycle( " das und verkehrte Seite, das korrigieren sie jetzt" ). So they obviously made fun of me, on the wide pavement no one would care about the side even during daytime, with no people both getting off and changing side would make no sense. It was political humour. I took another way, along the park, for the case that they would turn around. Near home two men passed me , one of them was dressed in black, the other one was wearing a blue goretexjacket, he said "ocasionally"( "gelegentlich" ), to be heared.
When i passed an opened entrance in the morning of the 6th, a hackled up woman, maybe 50, on the stairway inside loudly shouted "someone is reading out !"( "da liesst einer vor !" ).
In the evening i bougth me fast food at an asian restaurant, when i left a somewhat darker man, maybe arabian background, entered. He looked into my eyes, with a neutral expression, but walked straigthforward, he surprised me and i stepped to the side, so he won. His expression made a contrast to the way he moved, for him it was his natural rigth to harass me. He was athletic, trained, and wearing a black jacket.
When i woke up on the 7th, there was constantly a woman talking in the flat above me. It was so consistent that i first thougth it must be tv or so, the only word i understood was an autogenous "i'm tired"( "ich bin müde" ).
When i arrived at the park at noon a police-car passed me. At the end of the encircling street they turned around to pass me again. They were watching me, seemed they were the policemen from the 5th, this was the way i had choosen not to encounter them again.
In the afternoon i was in the supermarket where i bougth a bottle on the 16th of jan., on my way there were two dark dressed with sunglasses near the supermarket, to comment a cd i got that day, and two sniffing females on bicycles near home. A woman and a sunlassed one each on my way to the market and back, much symmetrical stalker-pattern. In the supermarket the person in line of me seemed to be a young teenager, but she had a shapey female body for that. I somehow had the feeling that she could be one of them, maybe because of the very sligth but fast electrifyed momentums she constantly had while moving, so i didn't want to get too close. She seemed to be young because of the texture of her long straigth hair and the typical way she moved. When i was putting my wares on the band-conveyor in a moment i was looking in her direction she turned around, holding her face directly in front of mine. This was very fast and she got the rigth moment, normally only trained people could do so, and few could estimate the distance for the faces. She was holding her face there for maybe a second, then took it away in much the same way. It was so close that i couldn't look at her, because it would have been intimate, so she was faceless. Maybe she was conditioned with hypnosis for that, some of them are, and all this locking on me often seemes to be already on the border to it.
When i was outside in the late afternoon in the park a couple with two little children on bicycles came towards me. The woman was dressed in black and had black hair, she was hand in hand with her friend, a skinhead with a black sweater and snow-camouflage-pants. The woman explained "you will stay on the rigth side"( "ihr blaibt rechts" ), wich didn't fit as an instruction for the children, they were used as a plea for a political comment that connects to the policemen from the 5th. The skinheads expression said that the acting was too awkward for his taste, maybe because he was presented for that. At the streetcrossing at the park where the darker man has been on the 5th, now there was a black man who breathes out deeply before passing me. Later in a sidestreet a black dressed man with glasses and short black hair came towards me, he looked at me with his mouth gaping open, wet eyes. Short distance later there was another man with the same expression, a blonde punk. The first had a fleshy face, the second was gaunt, both in their 40ies, walking in line. Behind them a little boy followed, seemed he was also part of that. In front of a hospital there was a taller black man with long rastas standing, at the other side of the street. He first stood with his back towards me, he was wearing a punk leather jacket with spikes and something written on it, maybe he wanted to show me. Seemed he belonged to the gapers. Then he turned around and looked at me, smiling. I had already seen him on the 4th, the time i was outside when the man in the bank stood behind me to make me face the teenage girl, later i passed two young teenage girls( with bicycle, as usual ), they recognized me lately, turned around and smiled. The next person, short distance further, was this black man, who also looked at me and smiled, as he did now. And now he was also presenting a sheet with photos or so printed on it, in a polythene foil, like magazine sellers do.
This day i've descibed all of them.
At 1:30am of the 8th some men, i think they were three, came down the street here, one was twice loudly shouting a name. I knew someone with that name, as far as i knew he lives inanother city since 2000 or so. The pronounciation would also fit, exept it was overdone, they were paroding. Down the street they shouted "eh" and "hö", just vowels. Twenty minutes later again, they came down from the same direction, don't know if they had walked a circle or if these were others, one of them was shouting the name twice in front of the house. I said "shut up"( "halt die Fresse" ), seemed they were irritated that i dared to response, they walked down the street, once more the name, but not loud, then they stopped and were exchanging some words. At 2:30 they came up the street, stopped at the streetcrossing and hissed, to make fun of my complainment. Then street down, one crossing further, there was a bang, seemed one of them fired a gas-pistol. Probably they were rightists.
In the forenoon a man with a cellphone was standing below the window, with his back towards me. He said "tell your mom what the price for parking 5 meters in front of a crossing is "( "sag mal deiner Mama was das kostet, 5m vor der Kreuzung parken" ). The only context i could think of is this could have been a cop who doesn't think that demonstrating against nazi should be criminalized( but it would be about a demonstration years ago, not the environmental one in this posting ). He was wearing a dark jacket with an intense blue between the shoulders, wich is like the blue of the police, but was also the favourite stalkers colour in '02. He had a retriever dog with him.
When i brougth down some waste there was a man standing in front of the entrance, he just wanted to enter. He said three words, didn't understand the first two, the third was "Deutschland", he spoke the vowels somewhat longer, it was the name of his company. He said he would be from cable tv and was here for meter-reading. After throwing away the waste i got back end opened the celler-door, walked down with him. We stood in front of the access, there were no meters that could have been read. He explained that if cable-tv would be watched illegally there would a cable coming out of the side of the access, but here everything would be under seal( verplombt ). Seemed he wanted to explain further details, i yawned while he was gesticulating an imaginary illegal cable. He was strange, he then wanted to know who would be the caretaker of the house, i had already locked the cellar-door, when i got outside he noticed the adress on the wall, despite obviously no one here had interest in cable-tv, and he should have known the caretaker before. He had shorter dark hair, maybe 50 years, he was carrying a black case and was dressed with an orange jacket, the colour of the stalkers in '01, it was as if the cellar magnetically had attracted him.
I walked to the baker, there were some people before me, when i bougth bread exept the saleswoman there was only a girl in the shop. She seemed to be extremely horny, she was giving it off. Not vulgar, but intense, it was too present. She leaned on the cabinet as if it would be a bar, looking like ready now. I felt like mammal. Then she ordered a cheese-croissant, speaking as if she would whisper dirty wishes. Sexualizing cheese-croissant towards an older female baker was too silly, no matter how horny chicks could be, i doubted she knew at all what she was doing. She had enhanced the intimate, it was like inverted. She was dressed in black, a detail on her boots fitted to my girdle, i bougth it last year, and cutted it to rigth length two days ago, wearing it since then. She could have been the same girl from the day before in the supermarket, she had the same hair colour. Then they would have cutted her hair, used another shampoo and exchanged typically young teenage motoric for a bitchy one. They both had the same theme, the intimate. The girl now looked like from a glossy magazin, age would be perfect 17. On my way back the cable-tv-man came towards me, he had walked up the street but then turned around.
His illegal-cable-comment would fit to the burned house in Ludwigshafen, but i think at this point it was at least not officially mentioned as a possible source for the fire.
The next time i was outside a little boy on a bicycle came towards me at a streetcrossing at the near place, short distance behind him a couple turned in, walking in the familiar determined way, they wanted to be recognized, i still was mentally spammed enough to look away. The man said "he didn't play with that"( "damit spielt er nicht rum" ), seemed this was to connect my penis to the boy. I was at the shopping centre, this time i was outside there have been several lefties who had a look at me, one was wearing a turned fligth jacket, showing the orange.
When i was at home and looked out of the window a nosegesturer passed, a younger man, maybe 20, probably turkish background, wearing an olive green jacket.
When i was outside in the afternoon a nosegesturer, at some animals some of what people sayed seemed to be vaguely genital comments, there were also children, when i was in the shopping centre before and bougth tabacco it was somewhat like this, something seemed to be a comment, then i don't know if other is still also, an attention-consuming sphere with foggy borders.
When i was at a petrolstation in the evening there where two people, one of them explained "one couldn't talk normally to her"( "mit der kann man ja nicht normal reden" ), wich was ironically.
Have described this day detailed.
In the morning of the 9th someone outside sayed "good luck, bye"( "viel glück, tschüss" ), somewhat sarcastic, to symbolize someone who would abandone me.
On my way to a baker a man in his 20ies, wearing a blue hooded sweater, came out of a house, from the corner of my eye i've seen that he made a wide gesture for drinking beer. In the last time i often drink a few in the evening, including yesterday. In the baker there have been many people, behind me there were three black dressed men, one was standing to my side, directly facing me, he was taking a firm stance and said "there are tigther(vaginas)"( "es gibt ja auch engere" ), so this was a comment on the girl in the baker the day before. So thats the usual inquisition, they make some pressure on me, this cannot lead to a conversation, and if it would happen despite of this they would have to attack me if i would tell them who does this.( Edit : maybe i've reflected too much in this, and they were just kind of pimps who blatantly accused me for not pickung on the girl, and i didn't get it because they always claim to be the highest morale ) So they can feel important with their marking now. On my way back a man who looked like a well-known local comic-artist passed me, and three people had a look on me, two estimating, one hostile, lefties.
I was in the near supermarket at noon, there were two rigthist stalkers, one was smaller but not weak, short hair and suntanned, he stood in front of me and looked into my eyes, somehow stupid, nearly astounded. The other one was bigger, dark hair, black jacket, black shoes with big buckles, he obviously followed me when i turned in a corridor. Perhaps they were the name-shouters, or even had to do with this girl now.
Short time before i got outside in the afternoon a man was walking down the street, he took a hunch-backed posture, and once a normal one to show that this was acting. He had dark hair and was wearing a black jacket, he had similarity with the one who had been made their mobber in favour when i tried to get into the next bigger town in about 2000.
When i got outside in the afternoon, on my way to the laundry, a dark black man came up the street here. He had repeatedly stalked me, seemed he lives or lived near me. When i was smoking a cigarette outside the laundry and looked to the left, there was the former burgomaster. In the moment i've seen him, without further looking in that direction, he decided to turn around and start running, he nearly run into a girl on a bicycle. He had an individual conspicious relaxed running style, and was in good condition, especially regarding his age. Street down he arived at a bus and was holding up his left had to signalize that the bus should wait for him, when he was behind it. He was wearing a dark jacket and khaki cord pants. Short time later a man crossed the street, coming from the rigth, running till he arrived on the place. He was bald, had a big full beard, maybe late 30ies, cannot really say because of the distance, no jacket, only sweater, he had the same running style. When i was inside the laundry again a man started running, short distance in front of the streetcrossing, but then stopped with already half a feet on the street, because of the traffic ligth, despite lack of traffic. He then turned and affiliated a circle, looking at me wich was nasty. He had grey hair, but was in good shape, and a detail of his hair had similarity with mine, maybe that's why they picked him. When i was outside again another man started running, this one street up, some distance away. I didn't want to see one more running man, so i turned around. He passed me running, close for no reason. He was overweigthed and was wearing disadvantageous tigth olive green sweater and pants, both made of thin cloth, no jacket. Just when i had left the laundry two heavier black woman with a baby carriage came towards me, short distance further there was a blonde woman, maybe in her 40ies, with a cellphone, she said "halo, here is eva". With the "halo" she was aping a female neighbour of me, who was much younger than she, the "eva" was part of the title of a record i got today. Seemed it was fun to her. Short distance further there was a black man standing in front of two taller white ones, seemed he was the stalker who appeared when i got outside( have seen him only from behind now ). I had the impression that he had to obstruct the two others.
When i was outside in the late afternoon in the pedestrian zone one of two men said " how should we act like"( "wie sollen wir uns verhalten" ), before passing me. He sounded somewhat broken, didn't look at them, but they could have been the two at the black one before.
Have described the very most that day.
When i got outside in the early afternoon of the 10th there was a black dressed man standing at the streetcrossing here. He was standing on the street, facing straigth to the end up the street, didn't move. He was shaved bald, his chin-beard was a dark thin line, he was wearing a black beret, black sunglasses, black leather jacket and boots or shoes with a similar finish, all in black. His fashion added to the guard-like expression of his stance. When i had passed i turned around, he did also, seemed he had expected this.
I was at the baker at the railwaystation, at the stairs someone said "muslim". At the water there was a dark dressed skinhead with his girlfriend sitting on a bank. After he had looked at me he laughed and said "something like this exists"( "sowas gibt es" ). At the street in front of the bridge a grey-haired man with two leashed dogs stood next to me, he had stalked me before, he often sells magazines in front of the supermarket with their trained clerk. He said "why are you dragging"( "warum zieht ihr so" ), so this was to explain that i naturally attract them. He had already harrasset me with passing farting when they wanted to get me out of the park, but this was his holy duty. If don't like him because of this maybe i'm just not enlighted enough to see that they are without fail. I passed one more skinhead on my way back, he was wearing a black flight jacket, would somehow fit to the previous one, already in his 40ies. And a sniffer passed me, a long-haired rocker on a bicycle who crossed the street towards me.
When i was outside in the late afternoon i was sitting in the park. A group of people passed me, two women in the front, one was gesticulating and explained" he had supported this, and he had also supported that"( "er hat das unterstützt, und das hat er auch unterstützt" ), sounding really serious, one also turned around, looking at me. They were 10 people, maybe a dozen. They were walking somewhat faster, they had a goal and resembled a miniature-demonstration. Among the last ones there was a teenager with curly hair, he said "this would look even more gay", then turned around towards me, saying "so what"( "das sieht dann ja noch schwuler aus, ach egal" ). So this was a comment on the demonstration from the 2nd. In the middle there was a black man( not the clown from the demonstration ). Not much later a woman who had been my neighbour for a short time ten years ago passed me when i left the park, she had an absent expression, like faded out, and sligthly looked to the side. She was wearing an olive green parka and pants. Later there was an overdone acting about helping a wheelchair-driver. They used a real handicaped one for that. They had also moved/directed some others this time.
I had been outside twice after this, there have also been a few people who made comments or so, but they were different, they behaved like normal people. Two complained as a double because i had no ligth, but this didn't seem to be serious, more like cabaret.
On the 11th there was nearly nothing, a sligth sniffer with a dog, and then a jogging nosegesturer, both in the park.
In the beginning of this month my neighbour above me did nothing or nearly nothing the first days, then got back to toilet-following, also once used this ball, he puts it on the ground. But it's not so intense now. On the 5th he was tossing something on the ground, maybe a focus, could have been boots, sounded as if something was attached to them, clumsy rumbling things.
Freitag, 1. Februar 2008
quer
In the late afternoon of the 16th of january i was in a supermarket, there was a lefty standing at a shelf, black rastas and jacket, he stood in front of a shelf and seemed to concentrate on giving off hostility, kind of dark meditation or so. It was not aimed, but intense enough that it won't be without a reason. I knew him from sigth, think i have seen him( the last time )on a demonstration against nazi. I bougth a bottle of vine in the shop.
At 3am on the 17th a man and a woman came up the street here, they stopped in front of the house here, at the heigth of my window, exchanged a few words, then the woman said "fascist". Then she threw a bottle on the street, the glass crushed. Then she said "bottle". So that's spiritualized antifascism, i'm a fascist because i bougth a bottle, and they figth this by transferring the meaning into a bottle and shatter it.
When i was at the baker in the early morning a man who walked outside said goodbye, so this sounded as if he would be still speaking to the baker, but turned his head towards me, said it to me. A blonde man with a mustache, maybe 50, could have been a policeman.
When i was walking towards the inner city before noon a man came towards me and looked at me, i think it could have been a policeman again, but he was inconspicious. This was when i had crossed the market place, then when i turned in the next street a man holding kind of stick was coming towards me, i think one of these chewing-bones for dogs, made out of cattle skin, a longer one. I tried to estimate if he could be somewhat mad or even dangerous. He was wearing a basecap, and i couldn't see his eyes at all because of the peak. He had a firm consistent walking style, did remind me C. Bronson. He was smaller than me, but robust, had grapped the stick in the middle. He couldn't also see my face because of his peak, but when he'd already passed he said my name. I turned around, he said a name of someone i knew not less than 15 years ago. I had seen him last year, exchanged a few words, hello how you are, that was all. This man did not really look like him, but it was so long ago that i had seen him sometimes, i told him he would look different with the cap. He took it off while coming closer, had the same hair, some similarity of the face. He stood in front of me and asked me personal questions, how my parents are and if i would have a relationship with a woman or a man. He was talking in a consistent way, sounded somewhat like an unspooling tape, the voice was too bright, didn't fit to the person. I couldn't look directly at him, he was too close and the questions irritated me, specially with the way he talked. Just said good and no, he didn't wait till i asked something too, said goodbye and moved on, like on a mission. It felt odd, he looked too different, was more robust than the one he reminded, but too long ago, someone who always drunk alcohol, so i wasn't sure of the face. Then i thougth that it must have been someone else, who was too surprising, so i didn't get it. Or at least a modified version of the original, i've seen too many people who appeared as if they were someone else. But i tend to the first one. On my way back a man who looked like a comment on my dead brother walked on the other side of the street when i had crossed the market place. So the clothing were somewhat punkish. The man seemed to be athletic and in his 30ies( was some distance away ), the high boots didn't fit to his age. And he didn't look like a punk, the way he walked was like marching, disciplined, he looked like a fascist who had dressed up. As special detail he was wearing a military beret, of a very saturated police-green.
In the afternoon someone outside on the next bigger street loudly shouted something like "damned...i haven't done this", a rough bawling voice. It would have fit much better to the one with the chewing bone than the one he had, but was also different to the voice of the one he said he would be.
When i was on my way to a second-hand-shop in the afternoon a man brandishing a big german flag over his head was coming towards me when i had turned in a side-street wich led from a petrolstation to the cheap supermarket. He had shorter hair, was dressed in black, a rigthist obviously. He was shouting "Deutschland", like a soccer-fan, he was walking in the middle of the street. A companion of him escorted him on the pavement. I looked at the one with the flag when i passed him, didn't already get what this was about. Short distance further two more men escorted him, both dressed in black, but they stayed in th background, so there were four of them, what was this about ? There was a woman at the next streetcrossing, the only visible witness there. When i was in the second-hand-shop i sold something and had to fill out a sheet-with a chunky ballpointpen with the german colours on it, and also the g. eagle-as the flag of the rigthist showed also. I asked the clerk if there would be an international sporting-event or so, the pen would be hardly accidentially, but it seemed the clerk didn't know the context( with the rigthist ). Then i got it together : a dog was set on jewish pupils by antisemites in Berlin, i had heared this in the radio some hours before. And these rigthist with the flag were celebrating this. So showing the german flag isn't illegal in germany, but with the timing they made their statement.
When i was at the bank before noon of the 18th a taller man wearing an expensive-looking suit walked to the counter near me, ordered "the one who has nothing to say", laughed derisively, then turned around and walked back into the bank. Seemed to be the leading clerk.
In the afternoon i was sitting in the park, then a jogger on the path behind me showed odd behaviour, he closed one nostril with a finger, loudly pressing out air through the other without snorting, then blistering both cheeks abruptly, they became really round. Short time later another noise-jogger, not as extreme, but i moved on with my bicycle. In a near wider street a fast walking atlethic man came towards me, he passed me when i passed an old man who moved in the same direction as me. I've seen it only from the corner of my eye, the atlethic one, who was weigthtrained, made a wide energetic round move backwards with his shoulder, at the side where the granny was. It looked martial-artish, also reminds me football or so, a coordinated move. Nothing happened there, but then i stopped and looked back. Now also the granny stopped and looked back, it took him some more time to get it. The man had passed the old one very close, without a reason, there was more than enough space, he was heading for this and if he wouldn't have taken back his shoulder he would have bashed the granny, if he would have done this with this energy he would have caused serious damage to the much smaller slow granny. The harassment was too sick, but the atlethe had already covered some distance, and i didn't know what to do about it, so i moved on. At all i wouldn't have had a chance. At the next streetcrossing two darker men came towards me, i thougth if they could have been also send here, they have some martial artists who look like them. And a man on a bicycle passed me as close as possible. So as to expect the fast walker wasn't alone. If there would have been any conflict the outcome would have already been written in this artificial dimension. I think maybe this was again a rigthist action, and maybe the granny was a jew or so.
When i entered the near supermarket in the early evening a man came towards me who looked like one of the mobbers when i had tried to get into another town( next big one )in about 2000. Another man who was there also reminded me them, but i've only seen him for a moment.
When i bougth something in a near fair-trade-shop before noon on the 19th, the clerk there looked like a rigthist. Seemed to be there for the first time, a tall atlethic man, hair shaved exept geled one on the top, wearing a tighter military looking sweater. He really looked like a rigthist, i felt like having a bad thougth, could only be fashion, but he looked like one of them, not only his fashion. Seemed also to be somewhat irritated.
The next time i was outside, at noon, a black car was parking across that street, up to the left, blocking lanes. There were two or three cars who had stopped because of this, the first one seemed very close, so it looked like an accident. There was no other traffic, the car across was parking in a rigth angle to the lanes, didn't seem to be in a hurry to move on. It was just standing there. I passed the fair-trade-shop, a woman explained something to the new clerk, he looked like volume on max, but music paused. Not much later i passed where the across car had been to see if this was an accident. The cars were no more on the street, but near this was an ambulance. I watched this for a hile, to see if something was going on there. One was in the car, then another one came out of a tabacco store there and entered. At the near streetcrossing there was a black car parking, one front-tyre on the pavement, it was the car closest to the streetcrossing, there was a man inside, from the distance he seemed to be waiting, somehow it looked nail-biting, too movie-like. Seemed they had made a fake accident, it would fit to the clerk who seemed to be a rigthist, a "querfront"-symbol. On my way to the cheap supermarket a rigthist was walking in front of me on the pavement, a bigger man, white pants and a black jacket with a patch on the sleeve. The patch had a triangular shield-shape, there was an "x" a word below, think it was "Deutschland"( could only read the "land" ). He had certainly heard me, but concentrated not to react at all, he was walking agressively, nearly stomping, but also fidgety, so i couldn't pass him. I was in the cheap supermarket, this time their clerk did something completely different : he passed me once normally. Before this i heared him energetically working in the storage, consistend rhytmic noise. Maybe passing me normally was an exercise itself.
When i was outside in the afternoon, there was some acting, two sniffers and four times speakers. In front of the low bidge a man came towards me who basically looked like a homeless one, i had to slow down because he got in my way. He looked somewhat strange, but i only got it all after i had passed him. His torso was in a very straigth position, and his arms didn't move, the way he walked looked first as if he would be already older, but it was only hip and bowed legs, he had a deep stance. He had a big full beard, the seam was very straigth, so it looked somewhat odd. The eyes didn't look old, and otherwise the face showed no special signs of age, as one would expect. Exept beard and stance he looked like someone in his 30ies. He had several items at his girdle, i think one of them was a knife. His upper clothing was only a t-shirt, so then he was openly wearing this. On the bridge, among other pedestrians, two girls came towards me, a dark black and a white one, the black one said something when i passed, i think it was "oesterreich". I first thougth she would be younger, because she had the same heigth of the blonde one, who was not much older then ten, but the voice now didn't sound childish.
When i had left home in the afternoon of the 20th, a man with somewhat darker complexion, turkish or so, got out of a car that was parking here, he looked at me, had circles around the eyes, there was something serious. Another one was waiting in the car.
When i was outsie in the late afternoon, as usually with my bicycle, in the inner city a man came around the corner, hastly mumbling an excuse to two people he passed, then he was looking at me, coming towards me as if he wanted something. He didn't say anything, so i kept on moving, looking backwards at him. Then he turned around and walked away. He had no beard, but otherwise his face seemed similar to the one with the beard, yesterday at the bridge, especially the eyes. Think he had blue ones. He looked bigger than the one at the bridge, bigger than me, but now he moved his legs normally and was wearing an ample jacket and pants, both of bluish colours. While he was coming towards me he had his rigth hand beneath his jacket at his girdle, grapping something there.
When i had left home in the evening there was the dancing woman from the 20th of last month, street up, dancing again. She was wearing her black hooded sweater, but this time a jeans. She was facing the other side of the street, showed profile. She was holding her folded arms horizontally in front of her chest and was fastly raising her knees in her unexhausting way. A mathematically precise fitness version of cossack-dancing. After a while she turned around and run up the street, like mission accomplished. Looked somewhat military. I turned in at the streetcrossing there, at the next one there were two men standing, they had darker complexion, maybe late 40ies, one was using a cellphone, in his other hand he had an umbrella, he was rotating it at full circles. Looks also somewhat cryptic, but they behaved normally when i passed them.
In the afternoon of the 21rst some people had an eye on me when i was in the inner city, seemed to be a genital theme somehow.
When i was at a petrol-station in the evening it took the female clerk somewhat longer, she didn't get the article scanned, than even typed a wrong number. While i was waiting a man came in and passed close behind me, fastly walking, there were no other people there, he entered the room behind the till. He had darker hair, maybe 30, he was working there as a security, but now was wearing dark civil clothing. I think he was the one who did some acting before. Now i had the feeling that he was estimating my stance/balance when he was behind me. When i unlocked my bicycle outside he entered a taxi that was waiting in font of the entrance/me.
When i was outside in the late afternoon of the 22nd i was looking at the fair-trade-shop, if this clerk would be there again. While looking in that direction i was putting my hood an. A slender man in his 20ies, wearing a black jacket, came towards me, demonstrativly aping this hand-move, without a hood, like an aping-automaton. When i was standing at a bank in the park two joggers came towards me, both bigger than me, in their 20ies. One had black hair and was a weigth-trained martial artist. When he came closer he said "do you think so ?"( "meinst du" ) and prepared his rigth arm for a blow, only the short approach of a move, but obvious, he was estimating the distance. But it was only to humilate me, he was much stronger. They took the next way out of the park, i moved on and at the crossing they passed me again, they had turned and encircled me and now entered the park. The black-haired one had his body in a conspicious sloping position, maybe to show that stalking is part of training for him, and with this quoted the rigthist from the 31rst of december. Later i passed a woman, i was cycling on the pavement. I was going fast and didn't slow down, but this was not risky because she was constantly looking at me from the beginning, and leaning against a wall, enough space, she did not move at all. Or, more precisely, she was like frozen, so much that i really thougth if she would be a dummy. Not the sligthest head or face-movement, no sign of live at all. Immediatly before i passed her she shouted "the face"( "das Gesicht !" ) with a frozen hating voice. So normally one should slow down when passing people, even if not necessary it's more polite, but that's because there are persons, and she blanked this succesfully. The voice was like warden out of space. Maybe late 50ies, blonde, black coat.
I had moved too much this day, the next time i got outside i had a stabbing pain, it's not related to the moving, but the chance get's higher, have this many years. But i was only at the near supermarket, when i left a man urgently came straigth up to me in the entrance, openly looking in my face, he had a derailed expression. A trained person, maybe a martial artist, wearing a ligth pale jacket.
When i arrived at a petrol-station in the late evening it closed in that moment, a man left the station and then walked to the till outside. Two other people were waiting there also, standing with bigger distance to each other. I agreed with this pattern and waited at the entrance, so i wasn't standing in line of the till. Then a man, maybe late 40ies, wearing a woolen beanie, stood directly behind me, obviously to harass me. I stepped away from him, he followed and then walked behind me, to see if i would get where he is, he did this openly, he wanted to show authority. Another man, at least as old as he, arrived and he explained to him "they have good markings"( "die haben ja gute markierungen" ), with an accent that showed that i was like an item to him.
In the early evening of the 23rd two young men on bicycles came towards me, before they passed the second one complained "then even someone from Berlin will get here, now it's enough !"( "dann kommt noch jemand aus Berlin, jetzt ist genug !" ).
Also other people that day, someone looking at me, a few word, less intense than usually, but at least at noon very common.
When i was outside in the afternonn of the 24st, on the other side there was a man on a bicycle who looked at me, he was the owner of one of the two martial arts-school where i had trained( but not at him, there were different styles ). He had already stalked me, following me into the laundry, grimacing with his mouth. At the bus-station( at the railway-station )there was the one i described at 20th june and 23rd oct. of last year. He was wearing a grey hooded jacket, windbraker or so, hood on, and diagonally turned from the street to the pavement to pass me there, in an consistent amplitude-like cruve at consistent speed. Anything very exact. When he passed me on the pavement he looked into my eyes, he had a resolute mask-like face.
When i got outside in the late evening just around the corner a man on a bicycle passed and then zestfully turned at the side in font of me, stopping where other bicycles were standing. He wanted to be recognized. He had a jacket of the same colour as me, and a jeans had been delivered for me today, i wasn't already wearing it, seemed he was dressed with the same. Then i was at a petrolstation, same as two days ago, when i was standing in line there were two men who appeared to be strong, one stood very close behind me to harass me, and then seemed to estimate my stance, and made a comment on this to the other, so it was much like two days before, exept it was inside and he spoke russian or so. So this was to claim that i would have no rigth to just stand there, he appeared to be a mixture of prison-guard and martial-arts-instructor.
When i was standing at my opened window on the 25th, a man outside on the other side of the street turned towards me and crossed the street, he looked up at me. He had already grey hair, a shorter beard, but was atlethically, could have been a cop.
I was in a recordshop where repeatedly stalkers were near or came out, have been there once before but it was normally. Now there was another man at the till, he was hyper, like a soccer-fan expecting a goal. The salesman who had been there last time was also there, he came up to him, passing me, then bowed down and whispered a word into his ear. Don't remember if it was after or before this, the one sitting there told me they just bougth many cd/records, he said loudly "wir sind gerade völlig zugeballert worden", so this can be used colloquial for crowded, but it's also junky-slang for drugged.
When i was outside in the afternoon a man on a bicycle came towards me, he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something to me, he had extremely swollen tear sacs below his eyes, they stuck out of his face that was too young for this, it looked nonnatural. He looked to the side, he was "vollgeballert", as obvious as possible. But for that he seemed somehow sad.
When i was outside in the evening there have been twice men who said something meaningful to a woman when passing. The first were on bicycles, the man was touching the womans shoulder with his arm straigth stretched, holding it this way, says "meet once weekly", a presentation, and the second ones were standing at an entrance, the man was agressive and said something about money, the woman seemed somewhat wedged by him. So these were typical do-you-get-this-speakers, maybe they showed up with the women to improve or start a relation with the stalking. It's social culture.
The prepared squealing (cupboard-)door from my neigbour above me was in use that day, a windy day ( but he also squealed it manually, once it was obvious ). It was squealing-day.
When i woke up on the 26th this door was constantly squealing, it totally sucked. I got outside not much later, street down i leaned against a wall for a moment. I was at the baker, near or in the baker there have been 3 men, not at once, spread, older than me, i think maybe i knew them from sigth from when i had an alcohol-problem, '90 or so. But they did nothing special.
When i was on my way to the cheap supermarket at noon a woman passed in front of me when i arrived at the next bigger street, maybe i knew her from sigth, also about '90, she also just walked there. Doesn't look bad. Then on my way there have been people looking at me, almost constantly, one spitted out on the ground in front of him, then gave me a look. In the market their clerk passed me at the end of the middle corridor, when i walked back, at the same point as he did on the 14th. This time he had a somewhat astounded expression, a no pressure-variation, that was harrasment only by context. When i was standing in line he stood in the middle of the corridor, i haven't turned around completely, but it must have been him. He was posing, standing straigth, one hand at the hip, the other on a shelf, looking in my direction. So that's basically nothing special, but somehow he appears to be the center of the supermarket universe, attendant of the cosmic pool. Did remind me something i've just read about glass humpty dumpty's.
When i was outside in the afternoon there have been several of them, again much constantly, especially at the beginning, but often on a lower intensity. At the crossing of two bigger streets a man looking at me with his cyclopically charged rigth eye came up to me, presenting it. Think he had blue, a moustache, blonde, maybe late 40ies, red jacket. When i was at the bank and got outside a couple, in their 20ies, came towards me, both dressed the same, their colours matching mine. The man explained "that's not acceptable"( "das geht ja gar nicht" ), looking towards me. He had black dyed hair.
I was outside in the afternoon, now this constant bell jar-like presence wasn't there, it already felt as if it would be the city itself, so i thougth if it could just be a sideeffect, because they have channeled so many at me. But now it was switched off.
I bougth something at a petrolstation in the evening, the salesman reminded me one of their leaders, because of the humorous way he pronounced a word.
In the late evening some people walked down the street here, one said the name of someone i knew at the end of the 80ies, the only word i understood, accenting it as it was typically.
Just after i woke up on the 27th, still dark outside, several men down the street were singing, deep long vocals, sounded like soccer-fans at a burial, must have practised it. I think it was "we are in your head"( in english ).
I was on my way to the baker at the railwaystation, at about noon, walking this time. At the streetcrossing at the market place there was an asian woman on a bicycle, she blinked at me. Behind her there was a group of men, mostly dressed with olive green jackets, they had all assembled under the roofing of a kiosk, wich was closed. It wasn't raining or so, so it lookes odd and arranged, like a presentation, with the very directly woman who looked again at me when i came closer. On my way back a tall man, hood on, dark clothing, came towards me, he had a strong-willed expression, looked at me when i looked at him. The next one was an arabian looking man, well dressed, wearing a khaki coat, he moved at the same speed as the one before, was following at a distance. He looked to the side when i passed him.
When i bougth me fast-food near the park i was first waiting outside, then a black dressed older man, already fair gray hair, came towards me to look into my eyes, showing me how much they had soaked up emotional lead. A black dressed sportive younger man, military-looking clothing, passed me on a bicycle, he opened his mouth as if he would be greeting me, looked like a rightist. A man enterd the shop, looked somewhat like a lefty, and if he would have something to do, i also entered, didn't see him there. I waited longer than the man there had told me. The man i have described on the 24th( the first one, teacher )passed in front of the shop. He looked at me, he knew where i was sitting. He's already older, but not weak, and now he appeared smaller than normally. When he was out of sigth he turned around to pass again. And again, this time using a cellphone. When i got outside i've seen him walking up the street. A happy family who had uniformed themselves with orange jackets and otherwise dark clothing passed with bicycles.
Somewhere in the later evening two men walked down the street here, one said "they are lying".
When i left the baker in the morning of the 28th, a man hurryed to get in, passing me in the moment i was in front of the edge of the door. I stepped to the side, he was in the middle, he won. I turned around, have seen him only from behind, curly hair, seems he has been my martial-arts-teacher.
At noon i heard a sound outside, despite i had my window closed and was listening to music. But it was loud, sounded like a screaming child, but it was so equally that it was like a siren. I finally switched off the music and opened the window, leaning it, and looked outside. It was a little child, hand in hand with an old man, now they moved on, and the child stopped screaming. Maybe this was kind of answer to the ones who said "lying", at least subconsciously it won't be hard to get it.
When i was outside at noon there have been two sniffers and often people were watching me, knowing expression, some soaked with emaotional lead, accusing. Mostly older people, in the 50ies.
When i was at the streetcrossing where the one with the bicycle had passed me as close as possible on the 18th, a black car turned in fastly and slowed down very controlled, the driver showed his skill. The car, i think it was an older audi, had a rugged trashy look, the middle of the radiator grill was missing. Could have appeared in mad max. In contrast the driver was dressed genteelly, white shirt, black coat, and he had a big red scarf. Maybe this was inspired by the election now. The driver trenchantly waved me to pass, was there to give me this order.
I was in the fair trade shop, haven't seen this so rigthist-looking salesman again.
When i was at a petrol-station in the evening a black dressed man came directly towards me when i left, looking at me with his emotionally overloaded eyes. He had grey hair, short beard, sportive, could have been the same who looked at me on the 25th when i was looking out of the window. They made some glossy eyes these days.
When i was at the cheap supermarket at the early afternoon of the 29th, this time the door to the storage was closed, and their clerk didn't show up. When i was standing in line a gaunt but vital man with a big grey full beard and round glasses entered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He had stalked me before, making a sailor-like greeting. When i had left there was a security man, black uniform, older but robust, he positioned in front of the entrance of the baker next, that was closed, as if he would be guarding a security area or so, symmetrical somewhat spread stance. When i stopped on my way back at a baker a man on a bicycle passed me close to the wall, where normally cyclists won't pass, and complained "handsigns"( "Handzeichen !" ), as if i should have signalized to stop, this was a plea to say this word. Maybe 30, dressed in olive green, ample military pants.
Before noon of the 30th a black dressed younger man with a tigth fitting hood came towards me at the streetcrossing here, he took out a cigarette and ligthed it, moving his hands like a conjurer, so this was inspired by the uri g.-show yesterday.
When i was outside at noon, a man wearing a signal-like blue jacket and white pants touched his chest with his hand before passing me, in an accurate way, the fingers horizontally. Otherwise he showed no reaction, it looked somewhat like : i have communicated via ~handsign~, we are doing a special operation. He was dressed in a clean way, seemed to be a rigthist. On the other side of the streetcrossing there was the bearded man who entered the supermarket yesterday, holding an umbrelle, exactly vertically, it was sligthly raining. When i was waiting at the streetcrossing in front of the baker at the market place, someone street up said clearly "ah, hallo Jim !". This activated a man who passed behind me, he raised his arm, greeting towards the speaker, it looked much like a nazi-greeting. I looked behind me, he had his arm in this position while passing and turning around, so he had also shown to the ones inside the baker. Holding his arm that way brougth out the similarity, and with the timing he made a half-circle behind me. His happy face relativated this, he was one of their black bald ones. Somewhat brawny, seemed his plaid jacket was new. With the relaxed clear voice of the activator it appears like a classical master-servant-relationship, haven't seen the speaker, wouldn't wonder if nobody has, they work well with perception.
When i was in my kitchen in the afternoon in the moment i looked out of the window a man outside turned around, looked towards me and raised one hand greeting. Just sidewards, normally. He couldn't have seen me, i was only looking through a slit. When i came a little closer he corrected his head-position showing that he was tryed to see me. So he knew where i was standing, must result from the neighbour above me. He was wearing a jacket of the blue of the chesttoucher at noon. He had grey curly hair.
When i grapped my bicycle about half an hour later someone rung at several flats. Before i arrived at my door the entrance of the house had been already opened. It was a newspaper-woman, she was black, downstairs she was holding up the door for me. When i got outside the first people i have seen were black girls walking up the street. In front of a streetcrossing a girl came towards me, she looked nice, but also unsettled. I think they have told her something. She had a darker complecion, hood on. At the streetcrossing behind her there was a man on a bicycle waiting, really broad shoulder, seemed to be an athlete. He was angry and electrified, showing this with little movements of his arms. Seemed that he was designed as her protector. Later a young man passed me on a bicycle, he had mummed his face with a dark blue kerchief, like autonomes do at demonstrations. Looked authentically. This was in a street near a wood. When i entered at the park here i passed a black-haired woman, probably an asian. I sat down on a bank, when i looked in her direction, there has also been a man with a dog near her, in that moment she immediatly turned around 180° and walked back, she has been here to do this exercise.
When i left the near supermarket in the early evening a weigth-trained man came straigth up towards me, looking at me. He had already grey hair, but lookes very trained, was wearing a red sweater and track pants of a compatible blue tone. Certainly a martial-arts-instructor. Behind him a black-haired girl stepped to the side, her upper body leaned forwards, so they combined remindet me the 45°-angle of a set square.
At about noon of the 31rst there were two men taking tone on the streetcrossing here. I understood "heil hitler", "these are all fine things"( "alles gute Dinge" ) and "it has become cold ingermany"( "es ist kalt geworden in Deutschland" ), wich was certainly not about the weather. Then one of them entered a car and closed the door, the way he did nicely fitted to the adjusted pressed way they complained. I think they were paroding antifascists, rather than sarcastic real ones who are somewhat nasty. But cannot really know.
When i was outside in the afternoon a man passed me twice, he was wearing a black jacket, had black hair, and black leather gloves, had broad shoulders, in his 30ies. The first time he touched his ear, the second time i've seen that he had internal earphones. He was looking extremely seriously, concentrating on something, so this should say that be got instructions through his phones, he had a military expression. There has also been a female sniffer this time.
The next time i was outside a woman was jogging over the streetcrossing here, she hurryed to set in front of me. She had black rastas, sweater and backpack. I was in the supermarket in the shopping centre in the inner city, there a girl passed me running, she seemed to be a clerk but was usually still at school. She moved flashy well, fast and fluent, and had a happy hyped expression. On the 31rst of december there has been a running righist in this shop.
I was at another shopping centre in the early evening. When i entered there was a sniffer, much like the woman in the afternoon, he looked at me, then turned around, maybe 50years. There were some people who payed attention at me, i think two were martial ones, maybe security, a rigthist, in the common way, and an overweigthed man with fixed glass-like eyes who would have run into me if i wouldn't have stopped. I could move better than usual, had an exercise or so the day before, while listening to music. But my hands got really cold at about 0°C. Outside there were two black dressed men who said something that was related to me, but they weren't hostile.
In the evening a car stopped shortly in front of the house, the driver laughed in a loud physical present way.
I was at the bank in the nigth, a woman entered and greeted me friendly. Think this was really nice, but she was there to do so, somewhat confusing.
A quarter before 1am of the 1rst of febr a banger exploded street down.
Have described most of them.
At 3am on the 17th a man and a woman came up the street here, they stopped in front of the house here, at the heigth of my window, exchanged a few words, then the woman said "fascist". Then she threw a bottle on the street, the glass crushed. Then she said "bottle". So that's spiritualized antifascism, i'm a fascist because i bougth a bottle, and they figth this by transferring the meaning into a bottle and shatter it.
When i was at the baker in the early morning a man who walked outside said goodbye, so this sounded as if he would be still speaking to the baker, but turned his head towards me, said it to me. A blonde man with a mustache, maybe 50, could have been a policeman.
When i was walking towards the inner city before noon a man came towards me and looked at me, i think it could have been a policeman again, but he was inconspicious. This was when i had crossed the market place, then when i turned in the next street a man holding kind of stick was coming towards me, i think one of these chewing-bones for dogs, made out of cattle skin, a longer one. I tried to estimate if he could be somewhat mad or even dangerous. He was wearing a basecap, and i couldn't see his eyes at all because of the peak. He had a firm consistent walking style, did remind me C. Bronson. He was smaller than me, but robust, had grapped the stick in the middle. He couldn't also see my face because of his peak, but when he'd already passed he said my name. I turned around, he said a name of someone i knew not less than 15 years ago. I had seen him last year, exchanged a few words, hello how you are, that was all. This man did not really look like him, but it was so long ago that i had seen him sometimes, i told him he would look different with the cap. He took it off while coming closer, had the same hair, some similarity of the face. He stood in front of me and asked me personal questions, how my parents are and if i would have a relationship with a woman or a man. He was talking in a consistent way, sounded somewhat like an unspooling tape, the voice was too bright, didn't fit to the person. I couldn't look directly at him, he was too close and the questions irritated me, specially with the way he talked. Just said good and no, he didn't wait till i asked something too, said goodbye and moved on, like on a mission. It felt odd, he looked too different, was more robust than the one he reminded, but too long ago, someone who always drunk alcohol, so i wasn't sure of the face. Then i thougth that it must have been someone else, who was too surprising, so i didn't get it. Or at least a modified version of the original, i've seen too many people who appeared as if they were someone else. But i tend to the first one. On my way back a man who looked like a comment on my dead brother walked on the other side of the street when i had crossed the market place. So the clothing were somewhat punkish. The man seemed to be athletic and in his 30ies( was some distance away ), the high boots didn't fit to his age. And he didn't look like a punk, the way he walked was like marching, disciplined, he looked like a fascist who had dressed up. As special detail he was wearing a military beret, of a very saturated police-green.
In the afternoon someone outside on the next bigger street loudly shouted something like "damned...i haven't done this", a rough bawling voice. It would have fit much better to the one with the chewing bone than the one he had, but was also different to the voice of the one he said he would be.
When i was on my way to a second-hand-shop in the afternoon a man brandishing a big german flag over his head was coming towards me when i had turned in a side-street wich led from a petrolstation to the cheap supermarket. He had shorter hair, was dressed in black, a rigthist obviously. He was shouting "Deutschland", like a soccer-fan, he was walking in the middle of the street. A companion of him escorted him on the pavement. I looked at the one with the flag when i passed him, didn't already get what this was about. Short distance further two more men escorted him, both dressed in black, but they stayed in th background, so there were four of them, what was this about ? There was a woman at the next streetcrossing, the only visible witness there. When i was in the second-hand-shop i sold something and had to fill out a sheet-with a chunky ballpointpen with the german colours on it, and also the g. eagle-as the flag of the rigthist showed also. I asked the clerk if there would be an international sporting-event or so, the pen would be hardly accidentially, but it seemed the clerk didn't know the context( with the rigthist ). Then i got it together : a dog was set on jewish pupils by antisemites in Berlin, i had heared this in the radio some hours before. And these rigthist with the flag were celebrating this. So showing the german flag isn't illegal in germany, but with the timing they made their statement.
When i was at the bank before noon of the 18th a taller man wearing an expensive-looking suit walked to the counter near me, ordered "the one who has nothing to say", laughed derisively, then turned around and walked back into the bank. Seemed to be the leading clerk.
In the afternoon i was sitting in the park, then a jogger on the path behind me showed odd behaviour, he closed one nostril with a finger, loudly pressing out air through the other without snorting, then blistering both cheeks abruptly, they became really round. Short time later another noise-jogger, not as extreme, but i moved on with my bicycle. In a near wider street a fast walking atlethic man came towards me, he passed me when i passed an old man who moved in the same direction as me. I've seen it only from the corner of my eye, the atlethic one, who was weigthtrained, made a wide energetic round move backwards with his shoulder, at the side where the granny was. It looked martial-artish, also reminds me football or so, a coordinated move. Nothing happened there, but then i stopped and looked back. Now also the granny stopped and looked back, it took him some more time to get it. The man had passed the old one very close, without a reason, there was more than enough space, he was heading for this and if he wouldn't have taken back his shoulder he would have bashed the granny, if he would have done this with this energy he would have caused serious damage to the much smaller slow granny. The harassment was too sick, but the atlethe had already covered some distance, and i didn't know what to do about it, so i moved on. At all i wouldn't have had a chance. At the next streetcrossing two darker men came towards me, i thougth if they could have been also send here, they have some martial artists who look like them. And a man on a bicycle passed me as close as possible. So as to expect the fast walker wasn't alone. If there would have been any conflict the outcome would have already been written in this artificial dimension. I think maybe this was again a rigthist action, and maybe the granny was a jew or so.
When i entered the near supermarket in the early evening a man came towards me who looked like one of the mobbers when i had tried to get into another town( next big one )in about 2000. Another man who was there also reminded me them, but i've only seen him for a moment.
When i bougth something in a near fair-trade-shop before noon on the 19th, the clerk there looked like a rigthist. Seemed to be there for the first time, a tall atlethic man, hair shaved exept geled one on the top, wearing a tighter military looking sweater. He really looked like a rigthist, i felt like having a bad thougth, could only be fashion, but he looked like one of them, not only his fashion. Seemed also to be somewhat irritated.
The next time i was outside, at noon, a black car was parking across that street, up to the left, blocking lanes. There were two or three cars who had stopped because of this, the first one seemed very close, so it looked like an accident. There was no other traffic, the car across was parking in a rigth angle to the lanes, didn't seem to be in a hurry to move on. It was just standing there. I passed the fair-trade-shop, a woman explained something to the new clerk, he looked like volume on max, but music paused. Not much later i passed where the across car had been to see if this was an accident. The cars were no more on the street, but near this was an ambulance. I watched this for a hile, to see if something was going on there. One was in the car, then another one came out of a tabacco store there and entered. At the near streetcrossing there was a black car parking, one front-tyre on the pavement, it was the car closest to the streetcrossing, there was a man inside, from the distance he seemed to be waiting, somehow it looked nail-biting, too movie-like. Seemed they had made a fake accident, it would fit to the clerk who seemed to be a rigthist, a "querfront"-symbol. On my way to the cheap supermarket a rigthist was walking in front of me on the pavement, a bigger man, white pants and a black jacket with a patch on the sleeve. The patch had a triangular shield-shape, there was an "x" a word below, think it was "Deutschland"( could only read the "land" ). He had certainly heard me, but concentrated not to react at all, he was walking agressively, nearly stomping, but also fidgety, so i couldn't pass him. I was in the cheap supermarket, this time their clerk did something completely different : he passed me once normally. Before this i heared him energetically working in the storage, consistend rhytmic noise. Maybe passing me normally was an exercise itself.
When i was outside in the afternoon, there was some acting, two sniffers and four times speakers. In front of the low bidge a man came towards me who basically looked like a homeless one, i had to slow down because he got in my way. He looked somewhat strange, but i only got it all after i had passed him. His torso was in a very straigth position, and his arms didn't move, the way he walked looked first as if he would be already older, but it was only hip and bowed legs, he had a deep stance. He had a big full beard, the seam was very straigth, so it looked somewhat odd. The eyes didn't look old, and otherwise the face showed no special signs of age, as one would expect. Exept beard and stance he looked like someone in his 30ies. He had several items at his girdle, i think one of them was a knife. His upper clothing was only a t-shirt, so then he was openly wearing this. On the bridge, among other pedestrians, two girls came towards me, a dark black and a white one, the black one said something when i passed, i think it was "oesterreich". I first thougth she would be younger, because she had the same heigth of the blonde one, who was not much older then ten, but the voice now didn't sound childish.
When i had left home in the afternoon of the 20th, a man with somewhat darker complexion, turkish or so, got out of a car that was parking here, he looked at me, had circles around the eyes, there was something serious. Another one was waiting in the car.
When i was outsie in the late afternoon, as usually with my bicycle, in the inner city a man came around the corner, hastly mumbling an excuse to two people he passed, then he was looking at me, coming towards me as if he wanted something. He didn't say anything, so i kept on moving, looking backwards at him. Then he turned around and walked away. He had no beard, but otherwise his face seemed similar to the one with the beard, yesterday at the bridge, especially the eyes. Think he had blue ones. He looked bigger than the one at the bridge, bigger than me, but now he moved his legs normally and was wearing an ample jacket and pants, both of bluish colours. While he was coming towards me he had his rigth hand beneath his jacket at his girdle, grapping something there.
When i had left home in the evening there was the dancing woman from the 20th of last month, street up, dancing again. She was wearing her black hooded sweater, but this time a jeans. She was facing the other side of the street, showed profile. She was holding her folded arms horizontally in front of her chest and was fastly raising her knees in her unexhausting way. A mathematically precise fitness version of cossack-dancing. After a while she turned around and run up the street, like mission accomplished. Looked somewhat military. I turned in at the streetcrossing there, at the next one there were two men standing, they had darker complexion, maybe late 40ies, one was using a cellphone, in his other hand he had an umbrella, he was rotating it at full circles. Looks also somewhat cryptic, but they behaved normally when i passed them.
In the afternoon of the 21rst some people had an eye on me when i was in the inner city, seemed to be a genital theme somehow.
When i was at a petrol-station in the evening it took the female clerk somewhat longer, she didn't get the article scanned, than even typed a wrong number. While i was waiting a man came in and passed close behind me, fastly walking, there were no other people there, he entered the room behind the till. He had darker hair, maybe 30, he was working there as a security, but now was wearing dark civil clothing. I think he was the one who did some acting before. Now i had the feeling that he was estimating my stance/balance when he was behind me. When i unlocked my bicycle outside he entered a taxi that was waiting in font of the entrance/me.
When i was outside in the late afternoon of the 22nd i was looking at the fair-trade-shop, if this clerk would be there again. While looking in that direction i was putting my hood an. A slender man in his 20ies, wearing a black jacket, came towards me, demonstrativly aping this hand-move, without a hood, like an aping-automaton. When i was standing at a bank in the park two joggers came towards me, both bigger than me, in their 20ies. One had black hair and was a weigth-trained martial artist. When he came closer he said "do you think so ?"( "meinst du" ) and prepared his rigth arm for a blow, only the short approach of a move, but obvious, he was estimating the distance. But it was only to humilate me, he was much stronger. They took the next way out of the park, i moved on and at the crossing they passed me again, they had turned and encircled me and now entered the park. The black-haired one had his body in a conspicious sloping position, maybe to show that stalking is part of training for him, and with this quoted the rigthist from the 31rst of december. Later i passed a woman, i was cycling on the pavement. I was going fast and didn't slow down, but this was not risky because she was constantly looking at me from the beginning, and leaning against a wall, enough space, she did not move at all. Or, more precisely, she was like frozen, so much that i really thougth if she would be a dummy. Not the sligthest head or face-movement, no sign of live at all. Immediatly before i passed her she shouted "the face"( "das Gesicht !" ) with a frozen hating voice. So normally one should slow down when passing people, even if not necessary it's more polite, but that's because there are persons, and she blanked this succesfully. The voice was like warden out of space. Maybe late 50ies, blonde, black coat.
I had moved too much this day, the next time i got outside i had a stabbing pain, it's not related to the moving, but the chance get's higher, have this many years. But i was only at the near supermarket, when i left a man urgently came straigth up to me in the entrance, openly looking in my face, he had a derailed expression. A trained person, maybe a martial artist, wearing a ligth pale jacket.
When i arrived at a petrol-station in the late evening it closed in that moment, a man left the station and then walked to the till outside. Two other people were waiting there also, standing with bigger distance to each other. I agreed with this pattern and waited at the entrance, so i wasn't standing in line of the till. Then a man, maybe late 40ies, wearing a woolen beanie, stood directly behind me, obviously to harass me. I stepped away from him, he followed and then walked behind me, to see if i would get where he is, he did this openly, he wanted to show authority. Another man, at least as old as he, arrived and he explained to him "they have good markings"( "die haben ja gute markierungen" ), with an accent that showed that i was like an item to him.
In the early evening of the 23rd two young men on bicycles came towards me, before they passed the second one complained "then even someone from Berlin will get here, now it's enough !"( "dann kommt noch jemand aus Berlin, jetzt ist genug !" ).
Also other people that day, someone looking at me, a few word, less intense than usually, but at least at noon very common.
When i was outside in the afternonn of the 24st, on the other side there was a man on a bicycle who looked at me, he was the owner of one of the two martial arts-school where i had trained( but not at him, there were different styles ). He had already stalked me, following me into the laundry, grimacing with his mouth. At the bus-station( at the railway-station )there was the one i described at 20th june and 23rd oct. of last year. He was wearing a grey hooded jacket, windbraker or so, hood on, and diagonally turned from the street to the pavement to pass me there, in an consistent amplitude-like cruve at consistent speed. Anything very exact. When he passed me on the pavement he looked into my eyes, he had a resolute mask-like face.
When i got outside in the late evening just around the corner a man on a bicycle passed and then zestfully turned at the side in font of me, stopping where other bicycles were standing. He wanted to be recognized. He had a jacket of the same colour as me, and a jeans had been delivered for me today, i wasn't already wearing it, seemed he was dressed with the same. Then i was at a petrolstation, same as two days ago, when i was standing in line there were two men who appeared to be strong, one stood very close behind me to harass me, and then seemed to estimate my stance, and made a comment on this to the other, so it was much like two days before, exept it was inside and he spoke russian or so. So this was to claim that i would have no rigth to just stand there, he appeared to be a mixture of prison-guard and martial-arts-instructor.
When i was standing at my opened window on the 25th, a man outside on the other side of the street turned towards me and crossed the street, he looked up at me. He had already grey hair, a shorter beard, but was atlethically, could have been a cop.
I was in a recordshop where repeatedly stalkers were near or came out, have been there once before but it was normally. Now there was another man at the till, he was hyper, like a soccer-fan expecting a goal. The salesman who had been there last time was also there, he came up to him, passing me, then bowed down and whispered a word into his ear. Don't remember if it was after or before this, the one sitting there told me they just bougth many cd/records, he said loudly "wir sind gerade völlig zugeballert worden", so this can be used colloquial for crowded, but it's also junky-slang for drugged.
When i was outside in the afternoon a man on a bicycle came towards me, he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something to me, he had extremely swollen tear sacs below his eyes, they stuck out of his face that was too young for this, it looked nonnatural. He looked to the side, he was "vollgeballert", as obvious as possible. But for that he seemed somehow sad.
When i was outside in the evening there have been twice men who said something meaningful to a woman when passing. The first were on bicycles, the man was touching the womans shoulder with his arm straigth stretched, holding it this way, says "meet once weekly", a presentation, and the second ones were standing at an entrance, the man was agressive and said something about money, the woman seemed somewhat wedged by him. So these were typical do-you-get-this-speakers, maybe they showed up with the women to improve or start a relation with the stalking. It's social culture.
The prepared squealing (cupboard-)door from my neigbour above me was in use that day, a windy day ( but he also squealed it manually, once it was obvious ). It was squealing-day.
When i woke up on the 26th this door was constantly squealing, it totally sucked. I got outside not much later, street down i leaned against a wall for a moment. I was at the baker, near or in the baker there have been 3 men, not at once, spread, older than me, i think maybe i knew them from sigth from when i had an alcohol-problem, '90 or so. But they did nothing special.
When i was on my way to the cheap supermarket at noon a woman passed in front of me when i arrived at the next bigger street, maybe i knew her from sigth, also about '90, she also just walked there. Doesn't look bad. Then on my way there have been people looking at me, almost constantly, one spitted out on the ground in front of him, then gave me a look. In the market their clerk passed me at the end of the middle corridor, when i walked back, at the same point as he did on the 14th. This time he had a somewhat astounded expression, a no pressure-variation, that was harrasment only by context. When i was standing in line he stood in the middle of the corridor, i haven't turned around completely, but it must have been him. He was posing, standing straigth, one hand at the hip, the other on a shelf, looking in my direction. So that's basically nothing special, but somehow he appears to be the center of the supermarket universe, attendant of the cosmic pool. Did remind me something i've just read about glass humpty dumpty's.
When i was outside in the afternoon there have been several of them, again much constantly, especially at the beginning, but often on a lower intensity. At the crossing of two bigger streets a man looking at me with his cyclopically charged rigth eye came up to me, presenting it. Think he had blue, a moustache, blonde, maybe late 40ies, red jacket. When i was at the bank and got outside a couple, in their 20ies, came towards me, both dressed the same, their colours matching mine. The man explained "that's not acceptable"( "das geht ja gar nicht" ), looking towards me. He had black dyed hair.
I was outside in the afternoon, now this constant bell jar-like presence wasn't there, it already felt as if it would be the city itself, so i thougth if it could just be a sideeffect, because they have channeled so many at me. But now it was switched off.
I bougth something at a petrolstation in the evening, the salesman reminded me one of their leaders, because of the humorous way he pronounced a word.
In the late evening some people walked down the street here, one said the name of someone i knew at the end of the 80ies, the only word i understood, accenting it as it was typically.
Just after i woke up on the 27th, still dark outside, several men down the street were singing, deep long vocals, sounded like soccer-fans at a burial, must have practised it. I think it was "we are in your head"( in english ).
I was on my way to the baker at the railwaystation, at about noon, walking this time. At the streetcrossing at the market place there was an asian woman on a bicycle, she blinked at me. Behind her there was a group of men, mostly dressed with olive green jackets, they had all assembled under the roofing of a kiosk, wich was closed. It wasn't raining or so, so it lookes odd and arranged, like a presentation, with the very directly woman who looked again at me when i came closer. On my way back a tall man, hood on, dark clothing, came towards me, he had a strong-willed expression, looked at me when i looked at him. The next one was an arabian looking man, well dressed, wearing a khaki coat, he moved at the same speed as the one before, was following at a distance. He looked to the side when i passed him.
When i bougth me fast-food near the park i was first waiting outside, then a black dressed older man, already fair gray hair, came towards me to look into my eyes, showing me how much they had soaked up emotional lead. A black dressed sportive younger man, military-looking clothing, passed me on a bicycle, he opened his mouth as if he would be greeting me, looked like a rightist. A man enterd the shop, looked somewhat like a lefty, and if he would have something to do, i also entered, didn't see him there. I waited longer than the man there had told me. The man i have described on the 24th( the first one, teacher )passed in front of the shop. He looked at me, he knew where i was sitting. He's already older, but not weak, and now he appeared smaller than normally. When he was out of sigth he turned around to pass again. And again, this time using a cellphone. When i got outside i've seen him walking up the street. A happy family who had uniformed themselves with orange jackets and otherwise dark clothing passed with bicycles.
Somewhere in the later evening two men walked down the street here, one said "they are lying".
When i left the baker in the morning of the 28th, a man hurryed to get in, passing me in the moment i was in front of the edge of the door. I stepped to the side, he was in the middle, he won. I turned around, have seen him only from behind, curly hair, seems he has been my martial-arts-teacher.
At noon i heard a sound outside, despite i had my window closed and was listening to music. But it was loud, sounded like a screaming child, but it was so equally that it was like a siren. I finally switched off the music and opened the window, leaning it, and looked outside. It was a little child, hand in hand with an old man, now they moved on, and the child stopped screaming. Maybe this was kind of answer to the ones who said "lying", at least subconsciously it won't be hard to get it.
When i was outside at noon there have been two sniffers and often people were watching me, knowing expression, some soaked with emaotional lead, accusing. Mostly older people, in the 50ies.
When i was at the streetcrossing where the one with the bicycle had passed me as close as possible on the 18th, a black car turned in fastly and slowed down very controlled, the driver showed his skill. The car, i think it was an older audi, had a rugged trashy look, the middle of the radiator grill was missing. Could have appeared in mad max. In contrast the driver was dressed genteelly, white shirt, black coat, and he had a big red scarf. Maybe this was inspired by the election now. The driver trenchantly waved me to pass, was there to give me this order.
I was in the fair trade shop, haven't seen this so rigthist-looking salesman again.
When i was at a petrol-station in the evening a black dressed man came directly towards me when i left, looking at me with his emotionally overloaded eyes. He had grey hair, short beard, sportive, could have been the same who looked at me on the 25th when i was looking out of the window. They made some glossy eyes these days.
When i was at the cheap supermarket at the early afternoon of the 29th, this time the door to the storage was closed, and their clerk didn't show up. When i was standing in line a gaunt but vital man with a big grey full beard and round glasses entered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He had stalked me before, making a sailor-like greeting. When i had left there was a security man, black uniform, older but robust, he positioned in front of the entrance of the baker next, that was closed, as if he would be guarding a security area or so, symmetrical somewhat spread stance. When i stopped on my way back at a baker a man on a bicycle passed me close to the wall, where normally cyclists won't pass, and complained "handsigns"( "Handzeichen !" ), as if i should have signalized to stop, this was a plea to say this word. Maybe 30, dressed in olive green, ample military pants.
Before noon of the 30th a black dressed younger man with a tigth fitting hood came towards me at the streetcrossing here, he took out a cigarette and ligthed it, moving his hands like a conjurer, so this was inspired by the uri g.-show yesterday.
When i was outside at noon, a man wearing a signal-like blue jacket and white pants touched his chest with his hand before passing me, in an accurate way, the fingers horizontally. Otherwise he showed no reaction, it looked somewhat like : i have communicated via ~handsign~, we are doing a special operation. He was dressed in a clean way, seemed to be a rigthist. On the other side of the streetcrossing there was the bearded man who entered the supermarket yesterday, holding an umbrelle, exactly vertically, it was sligthly raining. When i was waiting at the streetcrossing in front of the baker at the market place, someone street up said clearly "ah, hallo Jim !". This activated a man who passed behind me, he raised his arm, greeting towards the speaker, it looked much like a nazi-greeting. I looked behind me, he had his arm in this position while passing and turning around, so he had also shown to the ones inside the baker. Holding his arm that way brougth out the similarity, and with the timing he made a half-circle behind me. His happy face relativated this, he was one of their black bald ones. Somewhat brawny, seemed his plaid jacket was new. With the relaxed clear voice of the activator it appears like a classical master-servant-relationship, haven't seen the speaker, wouldn't wonder if nobody has, they work well with perception.
When i was in my kitchen in the afternoon in the moment i looked out of the window a man outside turned around, looked towards me and raised one hand greeting. Just sidewards, normally. He couldn't have seen me, i was only looking through a slit. When i came a little closer he corrected his head-position showing that he was tryed to see me. So he knew where i was standing, must result from the neighbour above me. He was wearing a jacket of the blue of the chesttoucher at noon. He had grey curly hair.
When i grapped my bicycle about half an hour later someone rung at several flats. Before i arrived at my door the entrance of the house had been already opened. It was a newspaper-woman, she was black, downstairs she was holding up the door for me. When i got outside the first people i have seen were black girls walking up the street. In front of a streetcrossing a girl came towards me, she looked nice, but also unsettled. I think they have told her something. She had a darker complecion, hood on. At the streetcrossing behind her there was a man on a bicycle waiting, really broad shoulder, seemed to be an athlete. He was angry and electrified, showing this with little movements of his arms. Seemed that he was designed as her protector. Later a young man passed me on a bicycle, he had mummed his face with a dark blue kerchief, like autonomes do at demonstrations. Looked authentically. This was in a street near a wood. When i entered at the park here i passed a black-haired woman, probably an asian. I sat down on a bank, when i looked in her direction, there has also been a man with a dog near her, in that moment she immediatly turned around 180° and walked back, she has been here to do this exercise.
When i left the near supermarket in the early evening a weigth-trained man came straigth up towards me, looking at me. He had already grey hair, but lookes very trained, was wearing a red sweater and track pants of a compatible blue tone. Certainly a martial-arts-instructor. Behind him a black-haired girl stepped to the side, her upper body leaned forwards, so they combined remindet me the 45°-angle of a set square.
At about noon of the 31rst there were two men taking tone on the streetcrossing here. I understood "heil hitler", "these are all fine things"( "alles gute Dinge" ) and "it has become cold ingermany"( "es ist kalt geworden in Deutschland" ), wich was certainly not about the weather. Then one of them entered a car and closed the door, the way he did nicely fitted to the adjusted pressed way they complained. I think they were paroding antifascists, rather than sarcastic real ones who are somewhat nasty. But cannot really know.
When i was outside in the afternoon a man passed me twice, he was wearing a black jacket, had black hair, and black leather gloves, had broad shoulders, in his 30ies. The first time he touched his ear, the second time i've seen that he had internal earphones. He was looking extremely seriously, concentrating on something, so this should say that be got instructions through his phones, he had a military expression. There has also been a female sniffer this time.
The next time i was outside a woman was jogging over the streetcrossing here, she hurryed to set in front of me. She had black rastas, sweater and backpack. I was in the supermarket in the shopping centre in the inner city, there a girl passed me running, she seemed to be a clerk but was usually still at school. She moved flashy well, fast and fluent, and had a happy hyped expression. On the 31rst of december there has been a running righist in this shop.
I was at another shopping centre in the early evening. When i entered there was a sniffer, much like the woman in the afternoon, he looked at me, then turned around, maybe 50years. There were some people who payed attention at me, i think two were martial ones, maybe security, a rigthist, in the common way, and an overweigthed man with fixed glass-like eyes who would have run into me if i wouldn't have stopped. I could move better than usual, had an exercise or so the day before, while listening to music. But my hands got really cold at about 0°C. Outside there were two black dressed men who said something that was related to me, but they weren't hostile.
In the evening a car stopped shortly in front of the house, the driver laughed in a loud physical present way.
I was at the bank in the nigth, a woman entered and greeted me friendly. Think this was really nice, but she was there to do so, somewhat confusing.
A quarter before 1am of the 1rst of febr a banger exploded street down.
Have described most of them.
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